Stadium Lights

Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match!

Explanation:  I love soccer so, another soccer joke (I could have said football or fútbol).

A “soccer match” is a soccer game.  A match is a contest between two teams.  A match is also a small stick that is used to start a fire.  (And this reminds me of the story To Build a Fire by Jack London, and The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Anderson.  Good stories!)

This joke is funny because of the double meaning of the word “match.”

Happy birthday to Ángel!

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Pig Ball

Q: Why are pigs so bad at soccer?
A: They are always hogging the ball!

Explanation:  To “hog the ball” means to keep the ball to yourself and not pass the ball.  A good soccer player looks to his or her teammates to see who has the best chance to advance the ball toward the goal; a good soccer player does not hog the ball.

This joke is funny because another word for a pig is a hog

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Before Dinner

Q: What did the mother lion say to her cubs before dinner?
A: Shall we prey!

Explanation:  Many people pray before dinner; they say words of thanks to their god, spirit or higher being.  Prey (with an ‘e’ not an ‘a’) is the animal that is being hunted by another animal.

This joke plays on the words pray/ prey with the lions “preying” before eating not praying.  Here is a lion that appears to be praying.  By the way, prey in regular usage is not used as a verb by itself but as a phrasal verb “prey on” or as a noun.  But that is why I like jokes: anything is possible!

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Fish Song

Q: How are fish and music the same?
A: They both have scales!

Explanation:  Fish scales are the outer part, the skin, of a fish.  Musical scales are a series of notes that go up or down (there are many types of musical scales).  This joke plays on the double meaning of the word “scale.”

There is a third meaning- a scale that weighs something like a bathroom scale.

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Tipsy

Q: Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
A: If they lifted the other leg they would fall over!

Explanation:  Not what you expected?  Of course not!  That’s why this joke is funny.

Upon asking the question one expects an answer, an explanation.  In this case one expects an answer that tells why flamingos stand on one leg.  This joke is funny because it focuses on the other leg… and that is unexpected.

¡Saludos a Cesar!

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The Future at Hand

Q: Why was the tree excited about the future?
A: It was ready to turn over a new leaf!

Explanation:  “To turn over a new leaf” means to start anew, to start again, fresh.  Someone who has had problems might turn over a new leaf and begin again (study more, learn something new, stop a bad habit, start a new good habit such as exercising, …).

A tree has many leaves (one leaf, two leaves).  Do the leaves turn over?  Not really but maybe before a storm.

This joke plays with the word leaf and makes me think about the future.  What are your plans?  Do you need to turn over a new leaf?

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Theft at Home?

Q: Why was the baseball player a bad sport?
A: He stole third base and then went home!

Explanation:  To be a bad sport is to not play nicely or to not play fairly. In baseball when you “steal a base” you do to actually steal the base, you do not take something that does not belong to you without permission or without paying; when you “steal a base” you advance to the next base with out being stopped by the opposing team.  In baseball when you “go home” you you do not go to the place where you live; when you “go home” you return to home plate where you started out, batting, and you score a run.

This joke plays with the vocabulary from baseball: to steal a base, to go home.

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