Tools for Fools?

Q: What tool can you use to cut water?
A: A sea-saw!

Explanation: To understand this joke you must first know what a seesaw is.  A seesaw is a toy/ game/ ride that you might see on a playground where children play (it is also known as a teeter-totter).  Imagine a long piece of wood that is balanced in the middle; one person sits on each end of the board and as one goes up, the other goes down.

A saw is a tool used to cut things. Of course, you cannot cut water… even with a saw.  This joke is funny because seesaw sounds like sea-saw and both end in “saw,” a tool (saw is the past tense verb of to see).  (Just to be clear: the fools part of the title refers to someone trying to cut water, not the amazing performance below!!)

Here are some gymnasts performing on a see saw- Do not try this at home!

Posted in Education, ELL, ESL, humor, Joke, jokes, reading, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

February Cannot

Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May!

Explanation: Happy Groundhog’s Day! Or Groundhog Day?  Hmmm…

The above joke plays with the months and the double meaning of some of the words.

To march” means to walk with a regular pace or to walk in an organized way; think of soldiers marching or people marching in a parade or a protest.  Can February March?  No, it is a month and it cannot walk. March is also a month (and there are two of the meanings of March).

May, in addition to being a month, is an auxiliary verb similar to ‘can’ or ‘might.’  In this joke February cannot march but April might be able to march.  It only makes sense if you understand the multiple meanings of March and May.

But it is February and here is a quick-talking explanation of Groundhog Day:

 

Posted in Education, ELL, ESL, humor, Joke, jokes, jokes explained, kids jokes, reading, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Winter Ride

Q: How does a snowman get around?
A: He rides an icicle!

Explanation: Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate!

“To get around” means “to move” or “to travel.”

An icicle is a piece of ice that forms when dripping water freezes.  The word icicle sounds like tricycle.  This joke is funny because those two words sound alike.

In honor of Christmas I offer you one of my favorite movies, It’s a Wonderful Life.  In this movie George Bailey does not “get around” but the end of the movie is great!

Posted in Education, ELL, ESL, humor, Joke, jokes, jokes explained, reading, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Rappin’ Wrapper?

Q: What do you call an elf who sings?
A: A wrapper!

Explanation: In this joke, elves are Santa Claus’ helpers.  They are the ones who make the toys and wrap them so that Santa can deliver the toys on Christmas Eve.  “To wrap a present” means to cover it with decorative paper to make the gift look nice.  Wrapping a present also makes people wonder what is under the wrapping paper.

A “Rapper” is a person who sings, usually songs that have amazing rhymes at high speed.  (For more information on the history of rap music check out this link.)

This joke is funny because “wrap” sounds like “rap.”

Here is a Christmas rap song about the Grinch Who Stole Christmas:

Posted in Education, ELL, ESL, humor, Joke, jokes, jokes explained, reading, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Workout Yeti

Q: What do you call a snowman with six-pack abs?
A: The Abdominal Snowman!

Explanation: Let’s start with six-pack abs: six-pack abs are stomach muscles that are well formed and strong.  To get six-pack abs you need to do a lot of exercise.  (By the way, ‘abs’ is an abbreviation of abdominal muscles, stomach muscles.)

Abominable means something that is very bad, unpleasant, something that causes revulsion.  Abominable (no d) sounds a lot like abdominal (has the letter d) and remember, abdominal refers to the stomach.

The abominable snowman is also known as  a yeti; most people believe that the abominable snowman is not real… some would disagree.

This joke is funny because abdominal sounds like abominable.  And no snowman I have ever seen has six-pack abs!!

Here is a video clip from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer where the Abominable Snowman appears:

Posted in Education, ELL, ESL, humor, Joke, jokes, jokes explained, reading, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

You Have the Right to …

Q: Why did the belt get arrested?
A: Because it held up a pair of pants!

Explanation: To hold up: this phrase has more than one meaning.  You could take a magic wand in your hands and hold it up in the air like Harry Potter; a piece of tape can hold a piece of paper to the wall; a belt can hold up a pair of pants.  In these examples one thing holds another thing in place.

To hold up a bank means to rob it, to steal money from the bank.

This joke is funny because of the multiple meanings of “to hold up.”

Here is Woody Allen trying to hold up a bank:

Posted in Education, ELL, ESL, humor, Joke, jokes, jokes explained, kids jokes, reading, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pop Feelings

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing!

Explanation: A can of pop, a can of Coke, a can of soda… all are pretty much the same thing.  Before you recycle the can, though, you should crush it– crush the can, that means to use pressure to change the can from big to little as in the picture.  There are machines that can crush a can (called a can crusher) and the person who crushes the can is also called a can crusher).  If you press a can of soda (pop) I could say that you are “soda pressing.”  It would be an unusual thing to say but I could say it.

The words “soda pressing” sound like “so depressing” and that is what makes this joke funny.  If a job is too depressing then someone might quit that job.

Depression is not funny.  If you are someone you know is depressed please find help.

See this video to see how aluminum is recycled:

Posted in Education, ELL, ESL, humor, Joke, jokes, jokes explained, reading, writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment