Going Out with Fruit

Q: Why did the raisin go out with the prune?
A: He couldn’t get a date!

Explanation:  Raisins are dried grapes.  Prunes are dried plums. Dates are just dates.  All three are fruits.

In this joke “to go out with” means to date someone, that is, to begin a romantic relationship.  Couples might go out on a date to a movie or go out for dinner on a date.  (Date also means the day, month and year: today’s date is Sunday, January 11, 2015… English can be confusing.)

This joke is funny because it plays on the multiple meanings of the word date.  The raisin went out on a date with the prune because he couldn’t get a date (an evening out with someone special) with a date (the fruit).

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Gnomes and Elves

Q: What do Santa’s elves do after school?
A: Their gnomework!

Explanation:  Gnome rhymes with home.  After school most students do homework; elves do “gnomework.”  This is funny because elves and gnomes are both magical creatures and because of the rhyme.

If they do their gnomework they will get smarter; hard work = more smarts!

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Drum Beat

Q: What is the best Christmas present ever?
A: A broken drum- you can’t beat it!

Explanation:  Merry Christmas and feliz navidad!

Christmas is celebrated by Christians on December 25; it celebrates the birth of Jesus.  In order to commemorate that day many people give gifts just as the magi gave presents to the baby Jesus.  (Comments about the way the holiday has been commercialized will not be addressed here.)

Children may be given a toy drum as a gift for Christmas.  Of course if the drum is broken you cannot play it; to play a drum is to beat a drum.  Therefore, a broken drum cannot be beaten.

The phrase “you can’t beat it” means that there is nothing better.  If a toy drum can’t be beaten then there is nothing better.  This joke plays on the double meaning in the joke of “it can’t be beaten.”

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Fish Talk

Q: What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
A: Drop it a line!

Explanation:  When you go fishing you drop a line in the water to catch a fish.  To “drop someone a line” means to send a short letter, send a note.  I suppose now it could even mean to send someone a text message  (I never did learn the difference between a text message and an SMS).

This joke plays on the double meaning of “drop a line.”

If you have a joke that you would like explained, well, drop me a line!

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Funlessness

Q: What do you call a pig that is no fun to be around?
A: A boar!

Explanation:  A boring pig, that is.  There are several names for swine in English including pig, hog and boar.  And then when we eat pig it can be called bacon, ham, pork chop, …  Who knew the pig produced so much vocabulary?!?!

If you are a bore, you are no fun to be around, not interesting.  This joke plays on the word bore/boar which sound the same.  The word bore can also mean to make a hole.  I hope I am not boring you (being not interesting)!

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Ruff Stuff

Q: What did the dog say when he rubbed sandpaper on his tail?
A: Rough, rough!

Explanation:  Another wonderful, classic dog joke!  Sandpaper is rough, it is used to make things smooth.  In English, when a dog barks it says, “Ruff.”  This joke is funny because it plays with two words that sound the same, ruff and rough.

Rough, by the way, can also mean difficult:  I had a rough day.

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Pasta Party!

Q: Where did the spaghetti and the sauce go to dance?
A: The meatball!

Explanation:  I love spaghetti!  Grandma used to make the best spaghetti and meatballs.  A meat ball is a ball of meat, often found on top of spaghetti.  A “ball” can also be a dance (see the Cinderella joke).  This joke plays with the word ball/meatball and is kind of, sort of funny.  Thanks Daniel!

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