Theft at Home?

Q: Why was the baseball player a bad sport?
A: He stole third base and then went home!

Explanation:  To be a bad sport is to not play nicely or to not play fairly. In baseball when you “steal a base” you do to actually steal the base, you do not take something that does not belong to you without permission or without paying; when you “steal a base” you advance to the next base with out being stopped by the opposing team.  In baseball when you “go home” you you do not go to the place where you live; when you “go home” you return to home plate where you started out, batting, and you score a run.

This joke plays with the vocabulary from baseball: to steal a base, to go home.

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Losing Customers

Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver!

Explanation:  To “drive someone away” means to repel them, to force them to go away from you.  This phrase is used to describe a battle (6th paragraph) in a war when it is said, for example, “The attacking army was driven away by the defending army.”

A taxi driver, in a different sense, drives their customers away from where they are to where they want to be.  This joke plays with the phrase “to drive away,” something that most businesses do not want to do.

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After Dinner Math

Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi!

Explanation:  “Dessert” (with 2 s) is a sweet treat after a meal; “desert” (with 1 s) is an area of the earth that gets little or no rain.  An easy way to remember: people always want more dessert and it has more of the letter s.  One type of dessert is pie; I especially like blueberry pie.

Pi is a math number that helps us understand circles.  (It is also the name of the main character in The Life of Pi.)

This joke is funny because it plays with the meaning of pi/ pie which sound the same but only one really tastes good.

 

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Laughing Orange

Q: How do you make an orange giggle?
A: Tickle its navel!

Explanation: Oranges are a delicious fruit.  One type of orange is the navel orange.  Navel is also a word used for your belly button.  If someone tickles your belly button, it might make you giggle.

This joke is funny because it plays with the double meaning of the word navel- a type of orange and a belly button.  And if you want to giggle at an orange you could watch an “Annoying Orange” video.

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Tardy Candy

Q: What kind of candy is never on time?
A: Chocolate!

Explanation: Candy!  That sweet treat, usually made with lots of sugar.  Chocolate is one type of candy.  The last part of the word “chocolate” is “late.”  If you are late, you are not on time.  This joke is funny because it plays with just a part of the word chocolate, the late part.

About being late: Someone once told me, “If you are not 15 minutes early, you are late.”  That is good advice in the United States.  In Chile, I once went to a party two hours late and I was the first one there!

By the way, I love chocolate!  Especially chocolate from La Iberica in Arequipa, Peru.

A quick note about pronunciation- Here in Minnesota, the word “chocolate” sounds more like “choco-lit.”  And if that is the case, the joke isn’t too funny… until you see it.

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Baseball Fans?

Q: Why was it so hot in the stadium after the baseball game?
A: All the fans left!

Explanation: At a baseball game, the fans are the people who are watching the game.  The fans leave the stadium when the game is over. Baseball games are played at a stadium.  A fan is also a small (or large) machine that has a part that spins to move air.  If there are no fans (that move air) at a stadium the stadium could get hot.

This joke plays on the double meaning of the word fan- and that is why it is funny!

Go Cubs!

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Point Well Taken

Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?
A: You’ve got a good point!

Explanation: Pencils are used for writing.  When the lead (now it is made of graphite) is sharp it is pointy, it has a point.

When someone says, “You have a good point,” it means that you have a good idea; the thoughts that you added to the conversation gave it something new.

This joke is funny because it plays with “you have a good point.”  The pencil has a literal point (it is sharp); perhaps it also has a figurative point (a good idea).

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