Before Dinner

Q: What did the mother lion say to her cubs before dinner?
A: Shall we prey!

Explanation:  Many people pray before dinner; they say words of thanks to their god, spirit or higher being.  Prey (with an ‘e’ not an ‘a’) is the animal that is being hunted by another animal.

This joke plays on the words pray/ prey with the lions “preying” before eating not praying.  Here is a lion that appears to be praying.  By the way, prey in regular usage is not used as a verb by itself but as a phrasal verb “prey on” or as a noun.  But that is why I like jokes: anything is possible!

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Fish Song

Q: How are fish and music the same?
A: They both have scales!

Explanation:  Fish scales are the outer part, the skin, of a fish.  Musical scales are a series of notes that go up or down (there are many types of musical scales).  This joke plays on the double meaning of the word “scale.”

There is a third meaning- a scale that weighs something like a bathroom scale.

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Tipsy

Q: Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
A: If they lifted the other leg they would fall over!

Explanation:  Not what you expected?  Of course not!  That’s why this joke is funny.

Upon asking the question one expects an answer, an explanation.  In this case one expects an answer that tells why flamingos stand on one leg.  This joke is funny because it focuses on the other leg… and that is unexpected.

¡Saludos a Cesar!

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The Future at Hand

Q: Why was the tree excited about the future?
A: It was ready to turn over a new leaf!

Explanation:  “To turn over a new leaf” means to start anew, to start again, fresh.  Someone who has had problems might turn over a new leaf and begin again (study more, learn something new, stop a bad habit, start a new good habit such as exercising, …).

A tree has many leaves (one leaf, two leaves).  Do the leaves turn over?  Not really but maybe before a storm.

This joke plays with the word leaf and makes me think about the future.  What are your plans?  Do you need to turn over a new leaf?

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Theft at Home?

Q: Why was the baseball player a bad sport?
A: He stole third base and then went home!

Explanation:  To be a bad sport is to not play nicely or to not play fairly. In baseball when you “steal a base” you do to actually steal the base, you do not take something that does not belong to you without permission or without paying; when you “steal a base” you advance to the next base with out being stopped by the opposing team.  In baseball when you “go home” you you do not go to the place where you live; when you “go home” you return to home plate where you started out, batting, and you score a run.

This joke plays with the vocabulary from baseball: to steal a base, to go home.

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Losing Customers

Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver!

Explanation:  To “drive someone away” means to repel them, to force them to go away from you.  This phrase is used to describe a battle (6th paragraph) in a war when it is said, for example, “The attacking army was driven away by the defending army.”

A taxi driver, in a different sense, drives their customers away from where they are to where they want to be.  This joke plays with the phrase “to drive away,” something that most businesses do not want to do.

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After Dinner Math

Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi!

Explanation:  “Dessert” (with 2 s) is a sweet treat after a meal; “desert” (with 1 s) is an area of the earth that gets little or no rain.  An easy way to remember: people always want more dessert and it has more of the letter s.  One type of dessert is pie; I especially like blueberry pie.

Pi is a math number that helps us understand circles.  (It is also the name of the main character in The Life of Pi.)

This joke is funny because it plays with the meaning of pi/ pie which sound the same but only one really tastes good.

 

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