Q: How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
A: Deep and crisp and even!
Explanation: “Good King Wenceslas looked out on the feast of Stephen. When the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even.”
This is a well known Christmas Carol but that last part sounds kind of like a pizza order- deep dish, crispy crust, evenly baked. Me? I’d add some pepperoni and it’d be perfect!
Q: What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
A: Frosted Flakes!
Explanation: Frost is frozen water vapor on a surface; it is kind of in between ice and snow. Snowmen are made of snow, which is kind of like frost. Frosted Flakes are a common breakfast cereal. Can you imagine a snowman eating cereal? I like snowmen jokes at this time of year.
Eat Well!
Q: What does Tarzan sing on Christmas?
A: Jungle Bells!
Explanation: “Jungle Bells” is an invented song name that reminds the listener of the song “Jingle Bells.”
Q: How many presents can Santa fit in his empty sack?
A: Only one. After that it is not empty anymore!
Explanation: The old empty sack trick! This joke plays on the understanding of the words “empty” and “how many.” The listener expects the answer to be a number, not an explanation. But it is true- if there is one gift in the sack it is no longer empty.
Q: What did Mary Poppins want for Christmas?
A: Supercalifragilisticexpialisnowshoes!
Explanation: Did you see the “snow shoes” part at the end of that word? This joke plays on the title of the song from Mary Poppins, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. You can watch a video of the song on the previous link. And there is a new movie about the making of Mary Poppins. Anyway, I think snow shoes would be a great gift.
Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it!
Q: How much did Santa pay for his sleigh?
A: Nothing. It was on the house!
Explanation: If something is “on the house” it means it is free. Often you will hear the expression in a movie, “Drinks are on the house!” That means that the bartender or the owner of the restaurant will pay for the beverages. In this case the sleigh is literally on the house. That’s what makes the joke funny.
Q: What do you call an old snowman?
A: Water!
Explanation: Snowmen do not last very long because eventually they melt. When a snowman melts he becomes water. This joke is funny because the listener is expecting a name, not water. You can watch the cartoon version of Frosty the Snowman here.
Q: Who says, “Oh, oh, oh!”?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards!
Explanation: Santa is known for saying, “Ho, ho ho!” as he laughs. If you write “ho, ho, ho” backwards you get “oh, oh, oh.” Silly, silly silly!
Q: What is a parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
A: Silent Night.
Explanation: Christmas carols are the songs sung at Christmas time. Moms and dads enjoy a night that is quiet once in a while. Silent Night is the name of a Christmas carol and a silent night for parents means that the children are asleep. “All is calm.”
Q: What happened to the beans when they showed up late to work?
A: They got canned!
Explanation: “To get canned” means to get fired, to lose your job. Beans, when they are not fresh, come in cans (or are frozen). Beans are canned when they are put into cans… but these beans were late to work so they got fired, they got canned! This joke is funny because it plays with the idea of getting canned.
Explain the Joke 