Fly Me to the Moon

Q: How does the moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it!

Explanation: A lunar eclipse happens during a full moon when the earth moves between the sun and the moon so that the full moon can no longer be seen.  The moon, of course does not have hair but that is part of what makes this joke funny.

Another way to say that you cut your hair is to say that you clip it.  (There is even a chain of shops called Great Clips where you can get your hair cut.)

This joke is funny because “eclipse it” sounds almost like “he clips it.”  I know that this joke does not make a lot of sense, but it does make me laugh.  Silly!

Here is a different look at the moon in the first science fiction film.  If you know the book or the movie The Invention of Hugo Cabret you will recognize it.  (Yes, Georges Méliès was a real person.)

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In the Slow Lane

Q: What do you get when you combine a porcupine and a turtle?
A: A slowpoke!

Explanation: A porcupine is an animal that has needles which are called quills.  The quills are sharp on the end and will hurt if they touch you, if they poke you (like when you get a shot in the arm).

Turtles are animals that usually move slowly.

This joke is funny because it combines the idea of a slow turtle and a porcupine with quills that can poke you into a slowpoke: a slowpoke is someone who does something too slowly.

Here is another animal that moves slowly: the sloth.

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My Better Half

Q: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm!

Explanation: Imagine biting into an apple and finding a worm.  Yes, that is a very unpleasant thought because your apple is most likely not in very good condition.

Now, imagine biting into an apple and finding only half of a worm.  That means that the other half is in your mouth!  Yuck!!

This joke is funny because it sets up the expectation for something bigger, worse than a worm, and then surprises us with less than a worm, only half of a worm.

So, why are there so many types of apples?

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Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?
A: Because her parents were in a jam!

Explanation: Jam is a type of food that is typically made of fruit.  Jam is usually spread on another food like bread or toast (like the way butter is spread on bread or toast).  If you use strawberries to make jam, you have made strawberry jam.  Mmmm!  I like it.

To be in a jam is an idiom that means to be in a difficult situation, to have a problem.

This joke is funny because it plays with meanings of the word jam.  Yes, it might make you cry if your parents were in a jam (in a difficult situation), especially if you are a strawberry!

The word jam is also used when musicians play together like in the video below.  A jam session is usually informal and may involve improvisation.

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A Can of Corn

Q: What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
A: Where is pop corn?

Explanation: There are many types of families.  Some families, like the one in this joke, are made of a mom, dad, and baby.  Mom can be called mama; dad can be called pop.

Corn, of course, does not have a family, but there are many types of corn.  One type of corn is popcorn.  Popcorn is a type of corn that, when heated, explodes into a white, fluffy piece that you can eat.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word pop: a type of corn and a name for dad.

Do you like to eat popcorn?  I do.  I especially like to make popcorn on the stove with my stove-top popper.  Then I add just a touch of salt.  I find that my stove-top popcorn is better than microwave popcorn.  Here is a kernel of popcorn exploding in slow motion (it’s pretty amazing!).

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You Can Bank On It

Q: What runs but never walks, murmurs, but never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, and has a mouth but never eats?
A: A river!

Explanation: Thanks the Instagram account of Glacier National Park for this week’s joke. 

There are many words in English that have multiple meanings and this joke shows us many of them that are related to a river.  The water in a river runs.  The river murmurs by making noise as it flows to the sea.  The bed of the river is the ground that is under the river.  The mouth of the river is where the river flows into the ocean.

This joke is funny because it uses many words related to river that have multiple meanings.

Are you familiar with Colombia’s Rainbow River?

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As Clear as Dud

Q: When does a joke turn into a “dad” joke?
A: When the answer is a parent!

Explanation: There is a category of jokes called dad jokes.  These are jokes that have really bad answers that will make you groan because they are stupid/silly.  Puns fit nicely into this category.  I rather like theses jokes.  By the way, the answer to a joke is also called a punchline.

The word “apparent” (meaning obvious, clear) sounds just like “a parent” (meaning a mom or dad).

This joke is funny because it plays with the word apparent/a parent.  When you become a parent, you become a mom or a dad; when something becomes apparent it becomes clear, like the answer to a question.

Here are some kids telling dad jokes.  They’re awesome!

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A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall

Q: What is worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis!

Explanation: Precipitation is water in any form that falls from the sky.  This includes rain, snow, sleet and hail.  Hail is frozen rain, ice, that falls; it can be very small or quite large.

Hailing a taxi means to  get the attention of a taxi driver so that you can get a ride somewhere.  Hailing taxis also sounds like taxis are falling from the sky like frozen rain, like hail.

Raining cats and dogs is an idiom meaning that it is raining very hard, that the rain is pouring down.

This joke is funny because it takes the idiom raining cats and dogs and makes it precipitate harder by hailing taxis.  This joke plays with the word hailing, meaning to call a taxi from the side of the street, or falling ice.

Here is Bob Dylan singing A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall:

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Lullaby-me to the Moon

Q: How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
A: You rocket!

Explanation: Astronauts are scientists who explore and study space.  To get into space they blast off in a rocket.  In this case, ‘rocket’ is a noun, a thing.

When babies cry, they can often be calmed, soothed, by rocking them.  To rock a baby means to gently move a baby back and forth, maybe by swaying, walking, or sitting in a rocking chair.  To calm a baby, rock it.  Here ‘rock’ is a verb, an action.

This joke is funny because rocket sounds just like “rock it.”

Here is another: Rockit by Herbie Hancock:

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X Marks the Spot

Q: What did the Dalmatian say after eating lunch?
A: Wow, that really hit the spot!

Explanation: If you have seen the movie 101 Dalmatians, you know that Dalmatians are a breed of dog known for their spots.  While I like dogs, having 101 of them seems like a lot!

That hit the spot is an idiom meaning something that was needed.  In this joke the speaker, the Dalmatian, was hungry and lunch hit the spot: lunch is exactly what was needed.

This joke is funny because it plays with the idea of hitting the spot (the markings on a Dalmatian) and hitting the spot (being exactly what was needed).

If you want to learn more about Dalmatians, this will hit the spot:

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