Hat Trick

Q: What did one hat say to the other?
A: You stay here.  I’m going on ahead!

Explanation: “To go on ahead” or “to go ahead” means to move forward to do something while leaving the other person behind.

That is different from a hat going on a head, which is when a person puts a hat on his or her head.  Hats, of course, go on your head.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word ahead which sounds like a head.  I like this one because it is easy to remember.  (A hat trick, by the way, is when a player scores three goals in one game, such as hockey.)

If you want to learn to do a magic trick with a hat, try this:

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Flower Power

Q: What do you call a flower that runs on electricity?
A: A power plant!

IMG_2407Explanation: A power plant is a place where electricity is made.  There are many different types of power plants.

A flower is the part of a plant that makes the seeds.  Flowers and plants get their energy from the sun using photosynthesis. (Does not make them solar powered?  I am not sure.)  Plants are important to life on earth because we get oxygen and food from them.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word plant: electric plant and a living plant with flowers.

Here are four projects you can make with a mini solar panel:

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April Showers

Q: Why would you want a chicken-proof umbrella?
A: To use when the weather is fowl!

Explanation: Spring started back on March 19 in the northern hemisphere, while fall began for me here in the southern hemisphere.  As the seasons change, I hope all of you are safe and healthy amid the coronavirus pandemic.

The word ‘proof‘ has many meanings.  In this joke, chicken-proof means that the chickens cannot get in.  This is just like the word waterproof or bulletproof where the water or the bullet cannot enter.   Umbrellas, of course, are waterproof so that the water can not go through the umbrella and get you wet.  (Normally we do not think about umbrellas as being chicken-proof.)

Fowl‘ means a type of bird that includes chickens, turkeys and ducks. ‘Foul,’ which sounds the same as ‘fowl,’ means something that is really unpleasant, like really bad weather.

This joke is funny because it plays with the words foul (really unpleasant) and fowl (birds like chickens, turkeys and ducks).  And you would never expect chickens to fall during bad weather, foul weather!

If you want to raise your own chickens (and you have more space than I do) you could watch this

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Dressed to the Nines

Q: What is the difference between a well-dressed bicyclist and a poorly dressed unicyclist?
A: Attire!

Explanation: Let’s start with some vocabulary:

  • Well-dressed means to wear nice clothing (it is the opposite of poorly dressed);
  • A bicyclist is a person who rides a bike;
  • A unicyclist is a person who rides a unicycle;
  • A unicycle is like a bicycle (bike) but it only has one wheel.

If you are well-dressed it means you are wearing nice clothing.  Clothing and attire can be used as synonyms, but attire is typically used to mean nice clothing, formal clothing.

Attire also sounds the same as a tire.  A bike has two wheels, that is, two tires; a unicycle has only one wheel, one tire.  Wheel and tire are synonyms.  (Well, people use them as synonyms.  The tire is really the rubber part of the wheel, the part that touches the street.)

This joke is funny because it plays with the the word attire: well dressed or a tire, a wheel.  So if you are well dressed on a bicycle you have both good attire, and a tire (one tire) more than the unicyclist.

If you want to learn to ride a unicycle, take a look at Finnovation:

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Bonsai?

Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A: A palm tree!

beach coconut trees coconuts daylight

persons left hand on windowExplanation: The palm of your hand is the part that faces things you grab.  It is easier to see in the picture.  The palm of your hand is rather small and, ordinarily, would not hold a tree.

A palm tree is a tree that is found in tropical climates like the one in the picture.

This joke is funny because it plays with the two meanings of the word palm: part of your hand and a type of tree.

Speaking of palms, do you know how to do any magic tricks with your palm?

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Uncomfortably Close

Q: What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that gets right up in your face?
A: Too close for comfort food!

Explanation: Comfort food is food that makes you feel good, perhaps by reminding you of a special time, place, or person.  Comfort food is usually high in calories like macaroni and cheese, or lasagna.

“Too close for comfort” is an idiom that can mean that someone or something is really too close to you, very near to you like the car that almost hit you, or the dog barking at your feet.  It can also be more figurative, such as when someone says, “That conversation about coronavirus is a little too close to home.”  In that example, someone who is worried about the virus might not want to have to talk about it; the topic is too close to home.

This joke is funny because it combines “too close for comfort” with “comfort food.”

Here is how to make one of my favorite comfort foods (thanks mom and grandma), grilled cheese sandwich-

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Paper Cut

Q: What did the Daddy Scissors say to his children when they acted up?
A: Cut it out!

Explanation: Of course, the scissors would say, “Cut it out!”

“To act up” means to behave badly, like students who sometimes act up at school and get in trouble with their teacher or the principal.

“Cut it out” has two meanings: First, is the literal meaning that you can cut something out, like cutting a coupon out of the newspaper; second is the idiom where “cut it out” means to stop doing something.  If someone tells you to “cut it out,” that person wants you to stop doing whatever you are doing.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of “cut it out.”  Check out these two art projects you can do with paper and scissors. (The first one we can all do; the second one takes more skill!)

 

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Egg-cellent Spin

Q: How do you make a Chinese egg roll?
A: Just give it a little push!

Explanation: Many families will be celebrating Easter this weekend, so an egg joke seemed appropriate.

A Chinese egg roll is a type of food served at many Chinese restaurants (and they are really good).  In the name of this food, ‘roll’ is a thing (a noun); the words before ‘roll’ tell what type of roll (adjectives): an egg roll, a Chinese egg roll.

Roll is also a verb that describes what a wheel does as it turns (it rolls) or what a rock does as it goes down a hill (it rolls).  If you push an egg, it will roll.  This will happen to an egg from anywhere such as China or France or Peru.

This joke is funny because it creates an expectation for one type of answer, but it gives a different answer.  When you hear the question, how do you make a Chinese egg roll, you expect the answer to include instructions, perhaps a recipe, about one of my favorite foods–egg rolls.  What you get is a funny answer because, of course, if you push an egg, it will roll.

Here is an egg rolling contest from Iowa:

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Is it legal?

Q: Can you keep a sick, bald bird in your house?
A: No, that’s ill-eagle!

Explanation: Many of us are staying home so that the world can flatten the coronavirus curve.  With that in mind, I offer you an eagle joke and a live eagle cam so you can virtually leave the house.

The eagles in the live-cam video below are called bald eagles because the adults have white feathers on their heads.  From far away it appears that they are bald.  People who are bald have no hair on their heads.  Bald eagles are the only well known birds that have the word ‘bald’ in their name (maybe the only one).

Ill means the same thing as sick.  So, a sick, bald bird is a sick eagle, or an ill eagle.  Illegal means not legal, something that is against the law.

This joke is funny because ill eagle sounds like illegal. And it is illegal to have an ill eagle.

Here are some healthy, live bald eagles from the Minnesota Eagle Cam:

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Stay Warm

Q: How do you stay warm in any unheated room?
A: Just sit in the corner where it is always 90º!

Explanation: To understand this joke, you need to think about the temperature.  90º Fahrenheit is a hot temperature. Well, for me it is hot; maybe not for people living in places like Australia, India, the Middle East and Phoenix that experience hotter temperatures.

Fahrenheit is a scale that measures temperature.  Most of the world uses Celsius, not Fahrenheit, to measure temperatures (but this joke only works with Fahrenheit because 90º Fahrenheit equals about 32º Celsius).

90º is also the measure of a right angle, an angle that is found in a corner.  This joke is funny because it plays with the two meanings of 90º (read ninety degrees)–a warm temperature and the measure of a corner.

Learn how to draw a 90º angle without a protractor-

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