Ghost Ships

Q: Where do ghosts like to go sailing?
A: Lake Eerie!

Explanation: If you ever get the chance to go sailing, I would highly recommend it.  It is a beautiful experience to let the wind move your boat without using a motor.

Ghosts, of course, like places that are scary or frightening.  The word eerie means strange or frightening.  An eerie experience might be sitting alone in a dark house, hearing strange sounds, and seeing faint lights that look like ghosts.

Lake Erie is the 4th largest of the Great Lakes in North America.  I have never seen it, but the pictures sure look nice.

This joke is funny because it plays with the words eerie and (Lake) Erie which sound exactly the same.

Here is the song Sailing by Christopher Cross to take you on your journey:

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Made in the Shade

Q: Why didn’t the girl trust the trees near her home?
A: They seemed a little shady!

Explanation: Shade is the darker, cooler area under a tree when the sun is shining on the tree.  If you want to get out of the sun, you might stand under a tree in the shade. You might stand in the shady area.

Shady also means something that doesn’t seem quite right, not honest, not trustworthy maybe illegal. If someone tries to sell you an expensive watch for very little money you might say, “No, that seems a little shady.”

This joke is funny because it plays with the word shady, like under a tree in the sun or a dishonest situation or person.

By the way, Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers out there, and to all people who are like a father to someone.

Here is a shady character from one of my favorite books, Ray Bradbury’s Something Wicked This Way Comes ( it’s a bit scary):

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One-Trick Pony

Q: Why couldn’t the pony talk?
A: He was a little horse!

Explanation: For most people, a pony is a small horse.  There is actually a difference between a horse and a pony. In common conversation, though, most people do not make the distinction.  A baby horse is called a foal, colt, or filly depending on age and gender.

If you are hoarse, your voice sounds scratchy.  This can happen when you get a sore throat from being sick or from shouting a lot.  If you go to a soccer game and cheer loudly for your team, you might be hoarse later on.

This joke is funny because it plays with the words horse and hoarse which sound exactly the same but have very different meanings.

To find out more about horses and ponies, take a look here:

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Shaggy Dog Story

Q: Why aren’t dogs good dancers?
A: They have two left feet!

Explanation: Dogs have four feet called paws: two front feet and two back feet.  You could also say that they have two right feet and two left feet.  Sounds simple.

When you say that someone has “two left feet” it means that they do not dance well, that they are awkward when they dance.

This joke is funny because it plays with the meanings of two left feet: the literal meaning, like dogs have two feet on the left side of their bodies, and the figurative meaning of being a bad dancer.

If you have always wanted to learn salsa, and not have two left feet as a salsa dancer, you could start here:

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Baker’s Dozen

Q: Why did the baker go to the bank?
A: He need some dough!

Explanation: There is nothing better than fresh baked bread!  The smell is amazing and, if you can eat bread, the taste is divine.

A person who puts bread or cookies into an oven is called a baker.  Before you can bake some bread you need to mix it up.  That mix is called dough; it can be cookie dough, or bread dough, or whatever type you are making.

Dough is also another word for money.  (Keep in mind that it is an informal word.)  If you need some money, you might go to the bank; you might ask you friend to lend you some dough for the weekend.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word dough: the mix you make for baking bread or another word (informal) for money.

Here is Jaime Oliver teaching us how to make fresh bread.  Feel free to turn on the CC (closed captioning) or slow him down because he talks a bit fast.

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Extra! Extra! Read All About It

Q: Did you hear about the new corduroy pillow?
A: No, but I bet they’re making headlines!

Explanation: I love my pillow! I have had it for, well, too long, and I should probably get a new one.  Pillows are those soft cushions that you put under your head when you sleep.  Pillows can also be found on sofas.  Many people use pillows to support their back when they are sitting.

Corduroy is a type of fabric that has raised lines in it; because of those lines, they say that corduroy is ribbed.

Something that “makes the headlines” is usually an important news story, like the Titanic sinking or a president getting elected.  Pillows do not make headlines…unless the pillow is made of corduroy.  If you sleep with your face on a corduroy pillow, you will wake up with lines on your face; the pattern on the corduroy fabric will press into your face.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word headlines, like in a newspaper, and head lines, like lines on your head.

Here is a story about a bear named Corduroy. It’s one of my favorites!

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Cool as a Cucumber

Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?
A: It goes through a jarring experience!

Explanation: Do you love pickles?  I do! 

Pickles are little cucumbers that are left in vinegar or brine for a period of time. This is usually done in jars. An interesting note: the process of making pickles is called canning (like, putting in a can) and not jarring.

Jarring is a word used to describe an experience that shocks or disturbs you; it is not a pleasant experience.  

This joke is funny because it plays with the word jar-cucumbers are put in jars, so, in a sense they go through a jarring experience.

Watch here to see how glass bottles are made:

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A Breath of Fresh Air

Q: What do you call a carrot that insults a rabbit?
A: A fresh vegetable!

Explanation: It is springtime in the northern hemisphere and it is time to plant the vegetable garden.  That way, you can eat fresh vegetables when they are ripe and ready to be picked.  Fresh vegetables are vegetables that have been recently harvested, recently picked.  

The word ‘fresh‘ also has a different meaning.  ‘Fresh’ can mean disrespectful, like talking back to your teacher.

This joke is funny because it plays with the different meanings of the word ‘fresh.’  It is also funny because, well, carrots don’t usually talk to rabbits!

Bugs Bunny is known for being fresh with people. Here he is with some rather large vegetables.  (Thank you to L.G. for the joke idea!)

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Trousers Again

Q: What does a dog do that a person steps into?
A: Pants!

Explanation: Thank you to a friend from India for sending another joke about pants!

Last week I explained about pants, the ones you wear that are also called trousers or slacks.

Pant is also the way a dog breathes when it is hot, usually a quick breathing with its tongue sticking out.  A dog pants.  So a person steps into pants and a dog pants.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of the word pants.  It is also funny because when you read the joke, you might think of something a dog does (poops) that a person might step in (that’s kind of gross, but it happens.)

Here is an explanation of why dogs pant:

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Holy Toledo!

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one!

Explanation: I have never been golfing but this joke made me laugh. 

Pants are an item of clothing that you put on one leg at a time.  They are also known as slacks and trousers.  Jeans are pants.  Although some people like to have holes in their pants, most people do not like it when they get a hole in a pair of pants.  If you get a hole in one pair of pants, you might want to put on another pair of pants without a hole.

In golf, a hole-in-one means that you got the little white ball into the hole with just one swing of your golf club.  I understand that it is hard to get a hole-in-one while playing golf.

This joke is funny because it plays with the meanings of “hole in one.”

Here are some famous golfers getting a hole-in-one.

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