Worse Than Its Bite

Q: Why is a tree like a noisy dog?
A: Because each has a lot of bark!

Explanation:  Dogs bark; barking is the noise they frequently make (some dogs bark less then others).  In this case, ‘bark’ is a verb, an action.

Trees have bark; when you touch the trunk of a tree you are touching the bark.  In this case, ‘bark’ is a noun, a thing.

This joke is funny because it plays with the two meanings of the word ‘bark.’

Here is a barking dog running up the trunk of a tree, touching the bark, of course.

Thanks to a student of mine for his inspiring care for dogs!

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Perfect Ending

Q: Why do prisoners like the punctuation marks period (.), exclamation point (!) and question mark (?) when they write?
A: Because each one marks the end of their sentence!

Explanation:  If you have been convicted of a crime and sent to jail, your sentence is the time that you must stay in jail.  Of course, everyone in jail awaits the end of their sentence so they can get out of jail.

The punctuation marks period, exclamation point and question mark are used to indicate the end of a sentence when writing.  In writing, a sentence is a complete thought that can stand alone, typically including at least a subject and a verb (but there are exceptions).

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of the word sentence.

Speaking of sentences, watch this video for information about a different type of sentence, an interjection.

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A Purrfect Joke

Q: What color is a happy cat?
A: Purr-ple!

Explanation: Cats make two common sounds- they meow and they purr (they can also howl and screech but those sounds are not as common).  Purring is that low, rumble that you can feel on a cat’s neck under its chin.  Purring is a sound that a cat makes when it is happy.

Purple, as you know, is a color.

This joke is funny because it plays with the pur in purple and purr. I hope you have a purrfect day!

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Brilliance

Q: Why did the teacher wear sunglasses during class?
A: Because her students were so bright!

Explanation: Have you ever seen a teacher wear sunglasses while teaching in a classroom?  I haven’t.  Most people only wear sunglasses when they are outside in the sun.  The light from the sun is so bright that it is good for your eyes to shade them with sunglasses.

Students who are smart can also be called bright.  In this case, smart and bright are synonyms.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of the word bright: giving off lots of light and smart.

Here is a song about a bright future and the use of sunglasses (shades):

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Catch and Release

Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold!

Explanation: Are you familiar with the expression, to catch a cold?  when you catch a cold you get a cold (runny nose, sneezing, maybe coughing, …) from someone else.  Cold sometimes means the opposite of hot but in this joke it refers to getting sick.

Normally when you catch something, like a ball or a frisbee, you can throw it back to someone.  You can catch a cold but you cannot throw it… although you can pass a cold along to someone else.  So, if you are sick, if you have a cold, please take care of yourself so you do not pass it on to someone else.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word catch (catch a ball) and the phrase catch a cold. Stay healthy!

Here is an explanation of how you can catch a cold:

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Sweet Honey in the Hair

Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: They use honey combs!

Explanation: You already know that bees make honey.  Honeycomb is where honey is stored in the hive.  The honeycomb is made of many hexagons (a 6 sided figure like a snowflake or nuts and bolts) that are made of wax.

A comb is used to make your messy hair neat.  When you run the comb through your hair or pass the comb through your hair you are combing your hair.

This joke is funny because it plays with the words comb and honeycomb.  And obviously, bees do not have hair that needs a comb like people do.  (Bees, though, do have hair.)

Here is a very interesting video about bees growing from eggs in the honeycomb:

(By the way, the title of this post comes from one of my favorite music groups, Sweet Honey in the Rock.)

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Cow Askew

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean meat!

Explanation: For some reasons I find cows to be funny, like this joke.

When something leans it is not quite straight up and down, it is a tilted like the Leaning Tower of Pisa or Leaning Cow Wine.  If a cow had only two legs it would, at a minimum, lean; most likely it would fall over.

Lean meat is meat is meat that does not have much fat.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of the word lean.

By the way, askew means crooked.  Try a Google search for the word askew and see what happens to the screen!

…and just so you know, the Leaning Tower of Pisa is not leaning as much these days:

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