My Main Squeeze

Q: How did the orange get into the crowded restaurant?
A: He squeezed his way in!

Explanation: As COVID cases wane, more and more people are heading out to restaurants.  In the case of this joke, even the orange goes into a restaurant.

If a restaurant is crowded, that means that there are many, many people and, most likely, no empty tables.  To fit into a crowded space you may need to squeeze yourself into that space.  Think of trying to squeeze one more person into a full elevator, or trying to squeeze a pillow into a full suitcase.  Yes, to squeeze into is an idiom meaning that you add more to a crowded space.  When planning, you can squeeze another appointment into a crowded calendar.

Squeezing something also means that you press it together, most often with your fingers or your hand.  In order to make orange juice, you have to squeeze the orange until the juice comes out.

This joke is funny because it plays with the meanings of squeeze: adding something to a crowded space, or pressing something together.  I hope that orange didn’t get too squeezed in that restaurant or all its juice would come out! By the way, being someone’s main squeeze means being their boyfriend or girlfriend.

Being pushy can be annoying to other people.  Speaking of annoying, here is an annoying orange–

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Not This Week Either

Explanation: While I truly believe that learning can always continue, I also believe that reflection is vital in the learning process.  This week I am reflecting on ideas of war and peace, and praying for an end to all aggression, especially in Ukraine.  And Ukraine is not the only place in the world experiencing war, violence, and attacks this week.

People throughout the world are showing their support for the people of Ukraine, including many in Russia.  Let us support efforts towards peace, and work for peace in our homes, cities, countries, and the world.

It didn’t seem like a good week to Explain the Joke.

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Roger Willco

Q: Can listening to the radio be an addiction?
A: Depends on the frequency!

Explanation: Today is World Radio Day, so a radio joke seemed appropriate!

An addiction is an activity that you do over and over because something about it feels good to your brain.  Most addictions are bad for your health, such as an addiction to smoking, or alcoholism.  When you do something many times you do it frequently, often.

When you listen to the radio, you tune into a certain frequency, that is, a specific wavelength so you can hear the station.  The radio frequency spectrum is very big and is distributed to a lot of different users including, TV, radio, aircraft, and amateurs.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word frequency, meaning how often you do something, or the wavelength of your radio station.  By the way, AM and FM radio are only part of the spectrum but they are very important.  “Radio continues one of the most trusted and accessible media in the world, according to different international reports,” UNESCO.

Watch here to learn more about the invention of radio-

And check out this map of world radio stations: https://worldradiomap.com/ 

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“Brave, yes, but not stupid.”

Q: What is the smartest animal?
A: A snake, because no one can pull its leg!

Explanation: There are a lot of smart animals!  (My cat was not one of them, but I loved him anyway.) Snakes are not generally included in lists of the smartest animals.  In this joke, though, they are the smartest.

To pull someone’s leg is an idiom that means to fool a person, usually in a fun or harmless way (in Spanish: tomar el pelo a alguien).  If someone told you she just got tickets to go to the space station, you might say, “Stop pulling my leg; you did not.” Of course a snake would never say that because snakes do not have legs.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of pulling one’s leg: the literal meaning of actually tugging on someone’s leg and the idiom meaning to fool someone.  Maybe someday with genetic engineering you will be able to pull a snake’s leg… nah, I’m just pulling your leg. That’ll never happen.

Here is a smarter than average snake:

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A String of Good Luck

Q: Why was the rope so stressed out?
A: It was getting itself all tied up in knots!

Explanation: Last week an upset wire, this week a stressed out rope! Such is the pandemic life.

When you tie the ends of two strings together, or maybe both ends of the same string, you are tying a knot.  There are lots of different types of knots that you can learn to tie.  Here are 10 of them.  Sailors have their own set of knots.

To tie yourself up in knots is an idiom that means to make life difficult for yourself unnecessarily.  If you are trying to be too careful or trying too hard to do something you might tie yourself up in knots.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of tying (yourself up in) knots: the literal definition of tying strings together and the figurative meaning of making problems for yourself.

Here are a bunch of ways to tie your shoelaces that I had never heard of:

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Just Around the Bend

Q: Why was the metal wire so upset?
A: It was getting bent out of shape over nothing!

Explanation: Metal wire comes in all sorts of sizes, measured by how thick it is.  Electrical wire also comes in different thicknesses.  Metal wire can be bent into many shapes so it is useful for art, for wiring a house, making motors, …  When you bend a wire, you can make it into almost any shape

To get bent out of shape is an idiom meaning to get angry.  If you get bent out of shape over nothing, you get mad for no reason.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of getting bent out of shape: the literal meaning of bending a wire, and the idiom meaning to get angry.

Here is some wire getting bent into shape:

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Beyond Reproach

Q: What happened to the mouse when he fell into the bathtub?
A: He came out squeaky clean!

Explanation: Just as a cow says “moo” and a pig says “oink,” mice squeak.  If you are interested in hearing an hour of mice squeaking you can listen here (although I am not sure why you would want to).

Squeaky clean is an informal phrase meaning that something is really, really clean.  A window that you just washed could be called squeaky clean.  Squeaky clean can also refer to a person’s character–the senator was squeaky clean: he never lied, misled or cheated anyone.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word squeaky, meaning the sound of a mouse and completely clean.

Here is Tom and Jerry getting things squeaky clean–

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On the Lookout

Q: What did the orange say to the banana when they were looking for the apple?
A: Keep your eyes peeled!

Explanation: It’s summer where I am (not -20º like the other place I call home) and it’s a great time to eat some ice cream.  Have you ever tried a banana split?  When I was younger, I liked to split a banana split with a friend because that dessert was (and is) too big for me to eat alone; I don’t eat them much anymore.

Whenever you eat a banana you have to peel it, that it, take off the yellow skin.  There are many ways to peel a banana.  To keep your eyes peeled means to keep your eyes open and watch carefully for something.  I always keep my eyes peeled for new jokes that need explaining.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word peel and the idiom keep your eyes peeled.  I also think it is funny to think about a banana with eyes. (Potatoes have eyes, but banana do not.)

If you would like to skip the banana split and go straight to the banana ice cream, try this:

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I Hearby Resolve

Q: Why did the past year seem to go by in a blur?
A: Your resolution must have been too low!

Explanation: Happy New Year!  I wish you the very best in 2022!!

Do you make new year’s resolutions?  A new year’s resolution is a decision to do something (or stop doing something) so that your life will be better in the new year.  Many people make a resolution to exercise more or read more; many people do not keep their new year’s resolutions.

Another meaning of resolution has to do with how focused something is, that is, how sharp the picture looks. When images go to fast they may seem blurry, that is, you cannot see them clearly because the resolution is low.  Digital images and pictures may also seem blurry if they taken from far away or with a camera with few pixels.  If your camera has a higher resolution, your picture will be more clear.

This joke is funny because it plays with the meanings of the word resolution: a decision, or the sharpness of an image.  If you make a resolution, be sure to tell people who will help you keep your resolution for the new year.  We all need to help make this world better.

Here is something else that is resolute: The Resolute Desk–

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Mindfully Present

Q: Why didn’t the aliens on the UFO land on Christmas morning?
A: They were selfish, and did not want to share their presence!

Explanation: UFOs are unidentified flying objects, often seen as flying saucers.  Flying saucers (if they exist) come from other galaxies and may have alien life on board.  Wouldn’t it be fun to have proof of life from other parts of the universe!  While there are many stories and pictures of UFOs, the existence of space aliens has never been proven… yet.  They have never made their presence known to us.

Many people in the world celebrate Christmas on December 25.  One of the most common Christmas traditions is to give gifts to friends and family members. Gifts are also called presents.  Some people like to share their presents, while others do not want to share.

This joke is funny because presents (the gifts we give and receive) sounds just like the word presence (being in a place).  The presence of life from other planets would be a present for people who hope for extraterrestrial life.

The James Webb Telescope that was launched yesterday may give us many presents as it helps discover more about the universe.

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