Catch and Release

Q: What can you catch but not throw?
A: A cold!

Explanation: Are you familiar with the expression, to catch a cold?  when you catch a cold you get a cold (runny nose, sneezing, maybe coughing, …) from someone else.  Cold sometimes means the opposite of hot but in this joke it refers to getting sick.

Normally when you catch something, like a ball or a frisbee, you can throw it back to someone.  You can catch a cold but you cannot throw it… although you can pass a cold along to someone else.  So, if you are sick, if you have a cold, please take care of yourself so you do not pass it on to someone else.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word catch (catch a ball) and the phrase catch a cold. Stay healthy!

Here is an explanation of how you can catch a cold:

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Sweet Honey in the Hair

Q: Why do bees have sticky hair?
A: They use honey combs!

Explanation: You already know that bees make honey.  Honeycomb is where honey is stored in the hive.  The honeycomb is made of many hexagons (a 6 sided figure like a snowflake or nuts and bolts) that are made of wax.

A comb is used to make your messy hair neat.  When you run the comb through your hair or pass the comb through your hair you are combing your hair.

This joke is funny because it plays with the words comb and honeycomb.  And obviously, bees do not have hair that needs a comb like people do.  (Bees, though, do have hair.)

Here is a very interesting video about bees growing from eggs in the honeycomb:

(By the way, the title of this post comes from one of my favorite music groups, Sweet Honey in the Rock.)

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Cow Askew

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?
A: Lean meat!

Explanation: For some reasons I find cows to be funny, like this joke.

When something leans it is not quite straight up and down, it is a tilted like the Leaning Tower of Pisa or Leaning Cow Wine.  If a cow had only two legs it would, at a minimum, lean; most likely it would fall over.

Lean meat is meat is meat that does not have much fat.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of the word lean.

By the way, askew means crooked.  Try a Google search for the word askew and see what happens to the screen!

…and just so you know, the Leaning Tower of Pisa is not leaning as much these days:

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In a Single Bound

Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course!  Buildings can’t jump!

Explanation: Kangaroos are well known for being able to jump high and far with their powerful legs.  Buildings, on the other hand, cannot jump.

This joke is funny because the expected answer is that no, kangaroos cannot jump higher than the Empire State Building (they can only jump about 30 feet).  Everyone knows that buildings cannot jump. Because we know that buildings cannot jump, we are thinking about the kangaroo jumping as high as the 1,250 foot Empire State Building. Clearly impossible!

What if we replaced the Empire State Building with a frog so the question reads, “Can a kangaroo jump higher than a frog?”  Now we know that we are comparing who can jump higher.  It all depends on how you understand the question and what the kangaroo is compared to.  Logic says the answer to the question is no but the joke looks at the illogical and we laugh.

Learn more about kangaroos here:

And learn more about the Empire State Building here:

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Sweet Swiss Music

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
A little old lady.
A little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!

Ah, the beauty of a knock knock joke and Alpine music.  Yodeling is a type of singing where the singer changes the voice from falsetto singing (high singing like the Bee Gees) to normal singing and back again.  It is commonly associated with the Alps of Europe but is also found in other cultures.

The words “little old lady who” sound a bit like yodeling and that is what makes this joke funny.

In the 1970s there was a TV commercial for hot chocolate that used a bit of yodeling

There is also a yodeling song from The Sound of Music:

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Lost Sleep

Q: Why did the boy run around his bed?
A: Because he was trying to catch up on his sleep!

Explanation: To catch up on something (such as sleep) is to do something you have not had time to do.  You catch up on sleep by sleeping more after a time of little sleep.  You can also catch up on the latest news by reading/ watching today’s news (or the newest tweets on Twitter, for example).  Someone might say, “When I returned from vacation I had to catch up on the news/ my emails/ my homework …

To catch someone is to chase after that person until you can touch him or her.  You might catch someone in a race; a police officer might catch a criminal.  (You can also catch a ball but that is a different meaning).

This joke is funny because it plays with the different meanings of the word catch and the phrasal verb catch up on.

Speaking of catching, do you know the story of The Gingerbread Man?

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On Your Marks…

Q: How do you keep an elephant from charging?
A: Take away its credit cards!

Explanation: When an elephant runs towards you or something else, we say the elephant is charging, much like a bull might charge (run) at the cape of a matador.  To charge is also to pay for something by credit card. The beginning of the joke makes us think of how to stop an elephant from running at something- very difficult to do!

This joke is funny because it plays with the two of the meanings of the word charge: a way of moving forward and using a credit card.

The word charge has many other meanings, such as charging your phone or to accuse someone of doing something wrong.

Here is an elephant charging and someone stopping it:

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