Chew Chew Train

Q: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train??
A: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Explanation: Or perhaps the train says, “Choo, choo?!?”

In most schools gum is not allowed.  If a teacher sees you chewing gum he or she will ask you to spit it out (even though there are some researched benefits of chewing gum).

Another name for a train is a choo choo and that sounds the same as chew- chew, probably because of the sound of the train whistle.

This joke is funny because it plays with the words “choo choo” and “chew, chew.”

If you like trains you might watch the Choo Choo Bob Show, Thomas and Friends,  go to a train show or travel Europe on the Eurail.

Or you could watch a 1903 silent film- The Great Train Robbery!

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Rain in your Brain

Q: Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab?
A: The scientists were brainstorming!

Explanation: I love a good thunderstorm!  Especially if I am safe inside.  A brainstorm is not a real storm but a way to gather ideas

When people brainstorm they make a list of many ideas.  Scientists brainstorm ideas for experiments and possible answers or explanations to questions they have.  (A lab is a place where some scientists work.)

This joke is funny because it plays with the words storm/ brainstorm.

Here is what a thunderstorm looks like.  Remember: do not go out in a thunderstorm!

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Tools for Fools?

Q: What tool can you use to cut water?
A: A sea-saw!

Explanation: To understand this joke you must first know what a seesaw is.  A seesaw is a toy/ game/ ride that you might see on a playground where children play (it is also known as a teeter-totter).  Imagine a long piece of wood that is balanced in the middle; one person sits on each end of the board and as one goes up, the other goes down.

A saw is a tool used to cut things. Of course, you cannot cut water… even with a saw.  This joke is funny because seesaw sounds like sea-saw and both end in “saw,” a tool (saw is the past tense verb of to see).  (Just to be clear: the fools part of the title refers to someone trying to cut water, not the amazing performance below!!)

Here are some gymnasts performing on a see saw- Do not try this at home!

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February Cannot

Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May!

Explanation: Happy Groundhog’s Day! Or Groundhog Day?  Hmmm…

The above joke plays with the months and the double meaning of some of the words.

To march” means to walk with a regular pace or to walk in an organized way; think of soldiers marching or people marching in a parade or a protest.  Can February March?  No, it is a month and it cannot walk. March is also a month (and there are two of the meanings of March).

May, in addition to being a month, is an auxiliary verb similar to ‘can’ or ‘might.’  In this joke February cannot march but April might be able to march.  It only makes sense if you understand the multiple meanings of March and May.

But it is February and here is a quick-talking explanation of Groundhog Day:

 

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Winter Ride

Q: How does a snowman get around?
A: He rides an icicle!

Explanation: Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate!

“To get around” means “to move” or “to travel.”

An icicle is a piece of ice that forms when dripping water freezes.  The word icicle sounds like tricycle.  This joke is funny because those two words sound alike.

In honor of Christmas I offer you one of my favorite movies, It’s a Wonderful Life.  In this movie George Bailey does not “get around” but the end of the movie is great!

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Rappin’ Wrapper?

Q: What do you call an elf who sings?
A: A wrapper!

Explanation: In this joke, elves are Santa Claus’ helpers.  They are the ones who make the toys and wrap them so that Santa can deliver the toys on Christmas Eve.  “To wrap a present” means to cover it with decorative paper to make the gift look nice.  Wrapping a present also makes people wonder what is under the wrapping paper.

A “Rapper” is a person who sings, usually songs that have amazing rhymes at high speed.  (For more information on the history of rap music check out this link.)

This joke is funny because “wrap” sounds like “rap.”

Here is a Christmas rap song about the Grinch Who Stole Christmas:

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Workout Yeti

Q: What do you call a snowman with six-pack abs?
A: The Abdominal Snowman!

Explanation: Let’s start with six-pack abs: six-pack abs are stomach muscles that are well formed and strong.  To get six-pack abs you need to do a lot of exercise.  (By the way, ‘abs’ is an abbreviation of abdominal muscles, stomach muscles.)

Abominable means something that is very bad, unpleasant, something that causes revulsion.  Abominable (no d) sounds a lot like abdominal (has the letter d) and remember, abdominal refers to the stomach.

The abominable snowman is also known as  a yeti; most people believe that the abominable snowman is not real… some would disagree.

This joke is funny because abdominal sounds like abominable.  And no snowman I have ever seen has six-pack abs!!

Here is a video clip from Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer where the Abominable Snowman appears:

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