Red all over? No, read all over.

Q:  What is black and white and red all over? Newspaper
A:  A newspaper!

Explanation:  This joke plays on the word red/ read.  “Red” is a color, like black and white.  “Read”(pronounced “red”)  is the past tense of read (every day I read, yesterday I read).  When your brain hears red after hearing black and white it assumes that the speaker is talking about colors.  In this case the speaker is talking about the past tense verb read.  A newspaper is black because of the ink and white because of the paper.  It is read all over because you can read it anywhere in the world.  Funny!

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The Late Broom

Q:  Why was the broom late? Broom
A:  It over swept!

Explanation: Brooms are for sweeping; one reason that people are late is because they over sleep.  “Sleep” in the past tense is “slept” (everyday I sleep, yesterday I slept).  “Slept” rhymes with swept (swept is sweep in the past tense- everyday I sweep, yesterday I swept).  This joke is funny because the expected answer is “It over slept” not its rhyme, “It over swept.”

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Another Snowman Joke

Q:  How does a Snowman get to work?Screen Shot 2013-01-14 at 8.27.16 PM Screen Shot 2013-01-14 at 8.28.33 PM
A:  By icicle.

Explanation:  Take a look at the answer- by icicle.  If you say the two words quickly you get the word bicycle.  An icicle is ice that is formed by dripping water, like ice that hangs off a roof in the winter.  Again, here the funny part is playing with the words “by icicle” and “bicycle.”  

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Snowbank?

snowmanQ:  Where does a snowman keep his money?
A:  In a snow bank.

Explanation:  This joke plays on the word “bank”.  A bank is a place where people keep their money; a snowbank is a pile of snow (which is not a good place to keep money!).

snowbank

Snowbank

Bank
Bank

 

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Knock Knock Turnip

Cathy from Minnesota offers this joke…

Knock, knock Screen Shot 2013-01-10 at 7.31.32 AM Screen Shot 2013-01-10 at 7.30.10 AM
Who’s there?
Turnip 
Turnip, who?
Turnip the heat, it’s cold in here!

Explanation:  This joke plays on words turnip/ turn up.  A turnip is a vegetable; “turn up” is what you do to the heat when it is too low (you can also turn up the radio, …).

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Soccer!

Q. What runs around a soccer field but doesn’t move?
A:
 A fence

Explanation:  This joke plays on the word “runs”:  A person runs; a fence runs around, that is, goes around, an area like a soccer field.Screen shot 2013-01-09 at 8.10.37 AM

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1st Knock Knock Joke

Knock, knock. Screen shot 2013-01-08 at 8.05.49 PM

Who’s there?

Lettuce.

Lettuce who?

Lettuce in and you’ll find out!

Explanation: Knock-knock jokes play with words: words that sound the same but are different or words that have more than one meaning.  In this joke the jokester is playing with the words “let us” and “lettuce.”  It is funny because the listener assumes the word is lettuce.

 

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1st Joke

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?Screen shot 2013-01-07 at 9.46.17 PM

A: To get to the other side.

Explanation: The answer to this joke (“To get to the other side”) is so obvious, something everyone knows, that it is funny because it is silly, perhaps even stupid.  Why else would you cross a road except to get to the other side?

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