Wet Melon!

Q: What do you call a wet fruit? Watermelon
A:
 A watermelon!

Explanation:  “Wet” is something that is liquid or has liquid on or in it.  For example, a towel gets wet when you use it to soak up water; the street gets wet when it rains.  Water is wet because it is a liquid.  A watermelon isn’t really wet on the outside (unless it has been rained on or washed) but it does have lots of liquid on the inside. So a wet fruit, is a watermelon.  Mmmm!

Soon it will be summer here in the north and the watermelon will start growing again.  I can’t wait!

Thanks “Tree” for sending the joke.

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Happy Birthday!

Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?Cake

A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

Explanation: Well, this is funny because the listener is expecting a real explanation that has to do with adding candles to a cake, perhaps even explaining why we have cake for birthdays.  But that is not the answer that the listener hears.  The answer is just an obviously funny one!  Candles on the bottom of a cake!

Happy Birthday, Ana Maria!

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Shake Well

Q: Why did John jump up and down before drinking his juice? juice box
A:
 The box said, “Shake well before drinking!”

Explanation:  Johnny was sooooooo confused!  When the box says, “Shake well before drinking” it is talking about the box, not the boy who is drinking the juice!  Shake the box, Johnny!

Shake, shake hands, milkshake, shake your head, shake and bake, shake, rattle and roll, …

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Roll, Not Bounce

Q: What kind of balls don’t bounce? bounce ball
A:
 Eye balls!

Explanation:  Bounce is the way a ball goes up and down when thrown to the floor.  Tennis balls bounce.  Basketballs bounce.  Eyeballs… don’t bounce.  It would hurt too much if they did!

My break is over… more jokes to come.

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Make your (sea)bed

Q: Who keeps the ocean clean? maid Mermaid
A:
 The mermaid!

Explanation: A mermaid is a mythological creature who is part woman, part fish.  A “maid” is a person who cleans a house or a hotel.  This joke plays on the meaning of the word “maid.”  Does a mer-maid do windows?

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Cabbage Patching

Q: How did the farmer mend his pants? cabbage patchknee patch
A:
With cabbage patches!

Explanation: To mend a pair of pants, such as jeans, is to fix them.  If there is a hole in the knee you will need to patch the hole with a patch.  Yes, “patch” can be used as a verb and a noun.  “Patch” also means a small area of land that is planted with a the same type of vegetable such as cabbage: a cabbage patch.  This joke plays on the multiple meanings of the word “patch.”

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Rule me this…

Q: Why was the king only a foot tall? ruler
A:  Because he was a ruler!

Explanation: A ruler is one who rules, that is, one who is in charge like a king or a president.  A ruler is also a stick used for measuring items.  In this case a ruler is 12 inches long, a foot long.  This joke plays on the double meaning of the work ruler.  This joke really measures up!

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The Lettuce Wins!

Q: Why did the lettuce win the race? LettuceHead
A:  He was a head!

Explanation: Lettuce is a green, leafy vegetable like in the picture.  When you buy lettuce you buy “a head” of lettuce.  The person who wins a race finishes first, that is, the person is ahead of the other.  This joke plays on the difference between “ahead” and “a head.”

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Knotted Not

Q: What did the mommy rope say to the baby rope? Knot
A:  “Don’t be knotty!”

Explanation: When you tie a rope you make a knot.  To behave badly is to be naughty (naw- tee); it is a word that is used with small children.  “Knotty” sounds like “naughty” and “naughty” is a word that a mommy might use with her child, like in the joke!  Be good; don’t be naughty!

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Whale tale!

Q: What is a whale’s favorite game?whale

A: Swallow the leader!

Explanation:  Whales are known for eating lots and lots of fish and krill; that is, they swallow them.  “Follow the Leader” is a well known children’s game where one personis the leader and the other children have to follow the leader, doing and going where the leader goes.  This joke plays on the rhyming words follow and swallow.

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