Before Dinner

Posted on August 1, 2014 by stfleming

Q: What did the mother lion say to her cubs before dinner?
A: Shall we prey!

Explanation:  Many people pray before dinner; they say words of thanks to their god, spirit or higher being.  Prey (with an ‘e’ not an ‘a’) is the animal that is being hunted by another animal.

This joke plays on the words pray/ prey with the lions “preying” before eating not praying.  Here is a lion that appears to be praying.  By the way, prey in regular usage is not used as a verb by itself but as a phrasal verb “prey on” or as a noun.  But that is why I like jokes: anything is possible!

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Fish Song

Posted on July 19, 2014 by stfleming

Q: How are fish and music the same?
A: They both have scales!

Explanation:  Fish scales are the outer part, the skin, of a fish.  Musical scales are a series of notes that go up or down (there are many types of musical scales).  This joke plays on the double meaning of the word “scale.”

There is a third meaning- a scale that weighs something like a bathroom scale.

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Tipsy

Posted on July 17, 2014 by stfleming

Q: Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
A: If they lifted the other leg they would fall over!

Explanation:  Not what you expected?  Of course not!  That’s why this joke is funny.

Upon asking the question one expects an answer, an explanation.  In this case one expects an answer that tells why flamingos stand on one leg.  This joke is funny because it focuses on the other leg… and that is unexpected.

¡Saludos a Cesar!

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The Future at Hand

Posted on July 8, 2014 by stfleming

Q: Why was the tree excited about the future?
A: It was ready to turn over a new leaf!

Explanation:  “To turn over a new leaf” means to start anew, to start again, fresh.  Someone who has had problems might turn over a new leaf and begin again (study more, learn something new, stop a bad habit, start a new good habit such as exercising, …).

A tree has many leaves (one leaf, two leaves).  Do the leaves turn over?  Not really but maybe before a storm.

This joke plays with the word leaf and makes me think about the future.  What are your plans?  Do you need to turn over a new leaf?

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Theft at Home?

Posted on July 6, 2014 by stfleming

Q: Why was the baseball player a bad sport?
A: He stole third base and then went home!

Explanation:  To be a bad sport is to not play nicely or to not play fairly. In baseball when you “steal a base” you do to actually steal the base, you do not take something that does not belong to you without permission or without paying; when you “steal a base” you advance to the next base with out being stopped by the opposing team.  In baseball when you “go home” you you do not go to the place where you live; when you “go home” you return to home plate where you started out, batting, and you score a run.

This joke plays with the vocabulary from baseball: to steal a base, to go home.

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Losing Customers

Posted on June 20, 2014 by stfleming

Q: Who earns a living driving their customers away?
A: A taxi driver!

Explanation:  To “drive someone away” means to repel them, to force them to go away from you.  This phrase is used to describe a battle (6th paragraph) in a war when it is said, for example, “The attacking army was driven away by the defending army.”

A taxi driver, in a different sense, drives their customers away from where they are to where they want to be.  This joke plays with the phrase “to drive away,” something that most businesses do not want to do.

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After Dinner Math

Posted on June 11, 2014 by stfleming

Q: What is the math teacher’s favorite dessert?
A: Pi!

Explanation:  “Dessert” (with 2 s) is a sweet treat after a meal; “desert” (with 1 s) is an area of the earth that gets little or no rain.  An easy way to remember: people always want more dessert and it has more of the letter s.  One type of dessert is pie; I especially like blueberry pie.

Pi is a math number that helps us understand circles.  (It is also the name of the main character in The Life of Pi.)

This joke is funny because it plays with the meaning of pi/ pie which sound the same but only one really tastes good.

 

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Laughing Orange

Posted on June 10, 2014 by stfleming

Q: How do you make an orange giggle?
A: Tickle its navel!

Explanation: Oranges are a delicious fruit.  One type of orange is the navel orange.  Navel is also a word used for your belly button.  If someone tickles your belly button, it might make you giggle.

This joke is funny because it plays with the double meaning of the word navel- a type of orange and a belly button.  And if you want to giggle at an orange you could watch an “Annoying Orange” video.

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Tardy Candy

Posted on June 9, 2014 by stfleming

Q: What kind of candy is never on time?
A: Chocolate!

Explanation: Candy!  That sweet treat, usually made with lots of sugar.  Chocolate is one type of candy.  The last part of the word “chocolate” is “late.”  If you are late, you are not on time.  This joke is funny because it plays with just a part of the word chocolate, the late part.

About being late: Someone once told me, “If you are not 15 minutes early, you are late.”  That is good advice in the United States.  In Chile, I once went to a party two hours late and I was the first one there!

By the way, I love chocolate!  Especially chocolate from La Iberica in Arequipa, Peru.

A quick note about pronunciation- Here in Minnesota, the word “chocolate” sounds more like “choco-lit.”  And if that is the case, the joke isn’t too funny… until you see it.

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Baseball Fans?

Posted on June 8, 2014 by stfleming

Q: Why was it so hot in the stadium after the baseball game?
A: All the fans left!

Explanation: At a baseball game, the fans are the people who are watching the game.  The fans leave the stadium when the game is over. Baseball games are played at a stadium.  A fan is also a small (or large) machine that has a part that spins to move air.  If there are no fans (that move air) at a stadium the stadium could get hot.

This joke plays on the double meaning of the word fan- and that is why it is funny!

Go Cubs!

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