Point Well Taken

Q: What did the paper say to the pencil?
A: You’ve got a good point!

Explanation: Pencils are used for writing.  When the lead (now it is made of graphite) is sharp it is pointy, it has a point.

When someone says, “You have a good point,” it means that you have a good idea; the thoughts that you added to the conversation gave it something new.

This joke is funny because it plays with “you have a good point.”  The pencil has a literal point (it is sharp); perhaps it also has a figurative point (a good idea).

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Scary Food

Q: What is the best food to eat when you are scared?
A: I scream!

Explanation: People scream when they are scared, I mean, really scared. When was the last time you were really scared?  Hopefully it was for something fun like a roller coaster and not for something terrible like a car accident or an earthquake.

“I scream” sounds like “ice cream” and that is what makes this joke funny.  Maybe a dish of vanilla ice cream would go well with a Hitchcock film tonight.

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Crazy Train

Q: What is the craziest way to travel?
A: Loco-motive!

Explanation: A sort-of bilingual joke!  ¡Que bueno!  The Spanish word “loco” means “crazy” in English.  A locomotive is a train.  Therefore, a loco-motive is a crazy-travel machine.  But just in this joke- I actually like to travel by train.

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Tied up in string

Q: Why didn’t the string ever win a race?
A: It always tied!

Explanation: A string is many long pieces of thread together.  Shoelaces are also a type of string.  Of course you can tie a string in a knot.  So, a string can be tied.

“To be tied” or “to tie” can also mean that no one is winning a game, that the score is the same.  It is like in a World Cup Soccer game when the game is tied 1- 1 (sure would be fun to go to Brazil this year, but that has nothing to do with this joke!).

This joke is funny because it plays with the double meaning of the word “tied.”

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PsychoMath

Q: What did the math book say to the psychologist?
A: “Would you like to hear my problems?”

Explanation: A math book has problems, many math problems.  The purpose of a math book is to teach you how to think like a mathematician and to solve math problems.

A psychologist can help you with problems with feelings or behaviors; a psychologist cannot help you with math problems.

This joke is funny because it plays with two different ideas of problems: math problems and psychological problems.  And of course, math books can’t talk!

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Hamburger Race

Q: Why did the hamburger always lose the race?
A: It could never ketchup!

Explanation: Ketchup is a thick liquid made from tomatoes; Ketchup is made from tomatoes.  Many people put ketchup on their hamburgers.  To “catch up” means to get to the same place as the person who is ahead of you.

“Ketchup” sounds like “catch up” and if you can’t catch up you can’t win the race!  Silly joke!

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Seams Funny

Q: Why was the sewing machine so funny?
A: It kept everyone in stitches!

Explanation: A sewing machine is used to make shirts, pants and anything made of fabric that needs to be sewn.  When the sewing machine does its work, it makes stitches that hold two pieces of fabric together.  To “keep someone in stitches” means to keep someone laughing.

This joke plays with the word stitch: the work that a sewing machine does and the idiom “to keep someone in stitches.”  That is why it is funny!  (Did you notice the title- a seam is where two pieces of fabric come together.)

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Let me tell you…

Q: Why can’t the bank keep a secret?
A: It has too many tellers!

Explanation: When you go to a bank, the person who helps you deposit (put in) or withdraw (take out) money is called a teller.  When you share a secret, you tell a secret.  The -er ending on some nouns make that noun into the person who does that thing:
work-worker;
play-player;
make- maker;
tell-teller.

So, someone who tells could be called a teller.  This joke plays with the word tell/ teller and that is why it is funny.

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Sandwich Humor 2

Q: What did the bread say back to the peanut butter?
A: I think you’re nuts!

Explanation: Peanut butter is made of peanuts, a type of nuts.  To be nuts means to be crazy.

This joke plays with the word nut.

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Sandwich Humor

Q: What did the peanut butter say to the bread?
A: Quit loafing around!

Explanation: When you grind up peanuts, you get peanut butter.  Bread that you buy at the grocery store, in the United States, mostly comes in a loaf; it is called a loaf of bread.  Loafing around means to be lazy and not do anything.

This joke is funny for a few reasons: first, it is funny because the peanut butter is talking; second, it is funny because the peanut butter is telling the bread, a loaf of bread, to stop loafing around, stop just sitting there.  This joke is playing with the word loaf.

Come back tomorrow to see how the bread responds!

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