Q: What do you get when you plant kisses?
A: Two lips.
Explanation: You use your lips to kiss someone, that is, you use two lips: your upper lip (the one below your nose) and your lower lip (the one above your chin). The expression “plant a kiss” means to kiss someone deliberately. There is a flower called a tulip (sounds the same as two lip) which is typically planted in the fall and blooms in the spring. This joke plays on the sounds of “two lips” and “tulips.” Happy almost Valentine’s Day!
A roundhog
What’s green, has four legs, and jumps out of its hole on February 2?
The ground frog!
What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy?
Ground-dog Day!
Explanation: All three of these jokes play with sounds: “roundhog” sounds like groundhog; “ground frog” sounds like groundhog; “ground- Dog” sounds like groundhog. And a puppy is a baby dog.
Sorry about being two days late for Groundhog’s Day… or is it Groundhog day? What a silly holiday!
Q: What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister!
Explanation: “Twister” is a synonym of tornado; they mean the same thing. Twister is also a game that has been around for a long time. This joke plays on the double meaning of the word Twister: another name for a tornado and a game. Click on the link to see people playing Twister.
Q: The turtle took two chocolates to Texas to teach Thomas to tie his boots. 
How many Ts in that?
A: There are 2 Ts in “That“!
Explanation: The question confuses the listener by having a sentence with so many of the letter “T”. While you are distracted trying to count Ts, the real question comes- How many Ts in “That”? Well, in the word “that” there are only 2 Ts: one at the beginning and one at the end. Got ya!
Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
A: To reach the high notes.
Explanation: Ahh, yes! The high notes! When one goes up, like in an airplane or up a ladder, one is going up higher. The child cannot reach the cookies because they are up high. High notes are the ones more to the right on a piano; in science the larger the Hz the higher the note. But high notes are not up high; that’s why this joke is funny!
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? 
A: A towel!
Explanation: A towel is used to dry something like a plate or your hands. As the towel dries your hands the towel, which was dry, becomes wet. It is not the towel that is becoming dry, it is your hands that are becoming dry. This joke is funny because it plays on the opposites of wet and dry. How could something get wet as it dries?
Knock, knock!
Who’s There?
Ash.
Ash who?
Bless you!
Explanation: Ash who? Sounds like “Achoo!” “Achoo” is how the sound of a sneeze is written in English in the United States. So when the asker asks “Ash who?” it sounds like Achoo! And if someone sneezes you say “Bless you!”
Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the soccer team? 
A: Because she ran away from the ball!
Explanation: Cinderella went to that fancy dance party in her fancy dress. That fancy dance party is called “a ball.” So is the sphere that soccer players kick- a ball. This joke plays on the word “ball.” And soccer players can’t run away from the ball!
Q: What did the 0 say to the 8?
A: Nice belt!
Explanation: The number zero sees an eight and thinks it is just like me, a zero, so it must have a belt. Numbers thinking crazy thoughts! That’s funny!
Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7, 8, 9!
Explanation: If you read the numbers is sounds like seven-eight (ate)-nine. And if I were 6, I, too, would be afraid of seven if it is eating other numbers, such as nine! Seven ate the nine!
Explain the Joke 