Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho cheese!
Explanation: Nacho cheese is a form of processed cheese sauce mixed with peppers and other spices. It is used to make Nachos, a snack made with tortilla chips and there are many ways to make them. When you say “Nacho” it sounds like “not your.” So, if it’s “Nacho cheese,” that sounds like “not your cheese;” cheese which isn’t yours! Try some nachos; they’re great!
Q: Where do generals keep their armies?
A: In their sleevies!
Explanation: A general is the leader of an army (singular), so, generals are the leaders of armies (plural). When you put on a shirt your arm goes into the sleeve of the shirt. Often times in English, to make something small you put the “ee” sound on the end- cute becomes cutie, bird become birdie. In this joke arm becomes arm-ee so it goes into your sleeve-ee.
Q: Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer?
A: He just couldn’t see himself doing it!
Explanation: The invisible man is a book by H. G. Wells and also a movie. If you are invisible no one can see you. This joke plays on the phrase, “I can’t see myself doing…” which means you can’t imagine doing something, such as taking a job. What is something you can’t see yourself doing?
Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing?
A: It had a virus!
Explanation: When someone is sick that person may sneeze. A virus is a really small thing, smaller than a cell in your body, that can make you sick. So, a virus can make you sneeze. A virus is also the name of a computer program that does something bad to your computer (or uses your computer in a way that you do not want it to). This joke is funny because it uses the word “virus” in two different ways. Wash your hands!
Q: What do you get when you plant kisses?
A: Two lips.
Explanation: You use your lips to kiss someone, that is, you use two lips: your upper lip (the one below your nose) and your lower lip (the one above your chin). The expression “plant a kiss” means to kiss someone deliberately. There is a flower called a tulip (sounds the same as two lip) which is typically planted in the fall and blooms in the spring. This joke plays on the sounds of “two lips” and “tulips.” Happy almost Valentine’s Day!
A roundhog
What’s green, has four legs, and jumps out of its hole on February 2?
The ground frog!
What would you get if you crossed February 2 with a puppy?
Ground-dog Day!
Explanation: All three of these jokes play with sounds: “roundhog” sounds like groundhog; “ground frog” sounds like groundhog; “ground- Dog” sounds like groundhog. And a puppy is a baby dog.
Sorry about being two days late for Groundhog’s Day… or is it Groundhog day? What a silly holiday!
Q: What’s a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister!
Explanation: “Twister” is a synonym of tornado; they mean the same thing. Twister is also a game that has been around for a long time. This joke plays on the double meaning of the word Twister: another name for a tornado and a game. Click on the link to see people playing Twister.
Q: The turtle took two chocolates to Texas to teach Thomas to tie his boots. 
How many Ts in that?
A: There are 2 Ts in “That“!
Explanation: The question confuses the listener by having a sentence with so many of the letter “T”. While you are distracted trying to count Ts, the real question comes- How many Ts in “That”? Well, in the word “that” there are only 2 Ts: one at the beginning and one at the end. Got ya!
Q: Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
A: To reach the high notes.
Explanation: Ahh, yes! The high notes! When one goes up, like in an airplane or up a ladder, one is going up higher. The child cannot reach the cookies because they are up high. High notes are the ones more to the right on a piano; in science the larger the Hz the higher the note. But high notes are not up high; that’s why this joke is funny!
Q: What gets wetter the more it dries? 
A: A towel!
Explanation: A towel is used to dry something like a plate or your hands. As the towel dries your hands the towel, which was dry, becomes wet. It is not the towel that is becoming dry, it is your hands that are becoming dry. This joke is funny because it plays on the opposites of wet and dry. How could something get wet as it dries?
Explain the Joke 