Baker’s Dozen

Posted on May 29, 2021 by stfleming

Q: Why did the baker go to the bank?
A: He need some dough!

Explanation: There is nothing better than fresh baked bread!  The smell is amazing and, if you can eat bread, the taste is divine.

A person who puts bread or cookies into an oven is called a baker.  Before you can bake some bread you need to mix it up.  That mix is called dough; it can be cookie dough, or bread dough, or whatever type you are making.

Dough is also another word for money.  (Keep in mind that it is an informal word.)  If you need some money, you might go to the bank; you might ask you friend to lend you some dough for the weekend.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word dough: the mix you make for baking bread or another word (informal) for money.

Here is Jaime Oliver teaching us how to make fresh bread.  Feel free to turn on the CC (closed captioning) or slow him down because he talks a bit fast.

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Extra! Extra! Read All About It

Posted on May 22, 2021 by stfleming

Q: Did you hear about the new corduroy pillow?
A: No, but I bet they’re making headlines!

Explanation: I love my pillow! I have had it for, well, too long, and I should probably get a new one.  Pillows are those soft cushions that you put under your head when you sleep.  Pillows can also be found on sofas.  Many people use pillows to support their back when they are sitting.

Corduroy is a type of fabric that has raised lines in it; because of those lines, they say that corduroy is ribbed.

Something that “makes the headlines” is usually an important news story, like the Titanic sinking or a president getting elected.  Pillows do not make headlines…unless the pillow is made of corduroy.  If you sleep with your face on a corduroy pillow, you will wake up with lines on your face; the pattern on the corduroy fabric will press into your face.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word headlines, like in a newspaper, and head lines, like lines on your head.

Here is a story about a bear named Corduroy. It’s one of my favorites!

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Cool as a Cucumber

Posted on May 15, 2021 by stfleming

Q: How does a cucumber become a pickle?
A: It goes through a jarring experience!

Explanation: Do you love pickles?  I do! 

Pickles are little cucumbers that are left in vinegar or brine for a period of time. This is usually done in jars. An interesting note: the process of making pickles is called canning (like, putting in a can) and not jarring.

Jarring is a word used to describe an experience that shocks or disturbs you; it is not a pleasant experience.  

This joke is funny because it plays with the word jar-cucumbers are put in jars, so, in a sense they go through a jarring experience.

Watch here to see how glass bottles are made:

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A Breath of Fresh Air

Posted on May 1, 2021 by stfleming

Q: What do you call a carrot that insults a rabbit?
A: A fresh vegetable!

Explanation: It is springtime in the northern hemisphere and it is time to plant the vegetable garden.  That way, you can eat fresh vegetables when they are ripe and ready to be picked.  Fresh vegetables are vegetables that have been recently harvested, recently picked.  

The word ‘fresh‘ also has a different meaning.  ‘Fresh’ can mean disrespectful, like talking back to your teacher.

This joke is funny because it plays with the different meanings of the word ‘fresh.’  It is also funny because, well, carrots don’t usually talk to rabbits!

Bugs Bunny is known for being fresh with people. Here he is with some rather large vegetables.  (Thank you to L.G. for the joke idea!)

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Trousers Again

Posted on April 17, 2021 by stfleming

Q: What does a dog do that a person steps into?
A: Pants!

Explanation: Thank you to a friend from India for sending another joke about pants!

Last week I explained about pants, the ones you wear that are also called trousers or slacks.

Pant is also the way a dog breathes when it is hot, usually a quick breathing with its tongue sticking out.  A dog pants.  So a person steps into pants and a dog pants.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of the word pants.  It is also funny because when you read the joke, you might think of something a dog does (poops) that a person might step in (that’s kind of gross, but it happens.)

Here is an explanation of why dogs pant:

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Holy Toledo!

Posted on April 10, 2021 by stfleming

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one!

Explanation: I have never been golfing but this joke made me laugh. 

Pants are an item of clothing that you put on one leg at a time.  They are also known as slacks and trousers.  Jeans are pants.  Although some people like to have holes in their pants, most people do not like it when they get a hole in a pair of pants.  If you get a hole in one pair of pants, you might want to put on another pair of pants without a hole.

In golf, a hole-in-one means that you got the little white ball into the hole with just one swing of your golf club.  I understand that it is hard to get a hole-in-one while playing golf.

This joke is funny because it plays with the meanings of “hole in one.”

Here are some famous golfers getting a hole-in-one.

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Nip it in the Flower

Posted on April 4, 2021 by stfleming

Q: What did the big flower say to the little flower?
A: Hi, bud!

Explanation: Spring is in the air in the northern hemisphere and gardens are blooming!

Bud is a word that is used as a synonym for friend, short for buddy.  My next-door neighbor was named Buddy when I lived in Minnesota; Buddy was my buddy, my bud, my friend.

Bud is also a word used for the small bump on a plant that develops into a flower.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of the word bud.

Watch these buds turn into flowers and then read The Little Prince to learn about making a flower your bud, your friend.

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Spring Ahead, Fall Back

Posted on March 27, 2021 by stfleming

Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?
A: He wanted to make up for a lousy summer!

Explanation: In my neck of the woods, summer has turned to fall.

Humpty Dumpty is a character from Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes. Usually pictured as a very large egg, Humpty Dumpty fell off a wall and broke into many pieces.  In the rhyme we hear,

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall

It makes sense that if an egg fell off a wall it would break.

Fall is also a season (spring, summer, fall, winter), sometimes known as autumn.  If you had a lousy summer, a bad summer, you might want the next season to be better.  That is, you could compensate for a bad summer (make up for a lousy summer) by having a really good autumn.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word fall, the verb (to fall) and the season (autumn).

Here is one video version where Alice meets Humpty.  If you continue watching, you will hear the poem Jabberwocky a fun poem with lots of nonsense words that make sense.

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Crossing Again

Posted on March 21, 2021 by stfleming

Q: Why did the atoms cross the road?
A: It was time to split!

Explanation: Ah, yes, this one reminds me of my first joke on this site.

Atoms are the building blocks of matter, of all things.  The element chart lists all the different types of atoms.

To split means to leave.  If I were watching a soccer game, at the end I might say, “Game’s over.  Let’s split.”  And then we would leave the park or the stadium where the game was being played.

When you “split an atom” you release a lot of energy, like in a nuclear bomb.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of split.  Split also means to divide something into parts. If you are a gymnast you might know how to do the splits. You might even make a banana split.

Here is how atoms were first split:

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Happy Out (side)

Posted on March 13, 2021 by stfleming

Q: What is Irish and sits outside?
A: Patio Furniture!

Explanation: March 17th is St. Patrick’s Day.  Being of Irish heritage, I thought this joke appropriate… and it made me laugh.

Patio furniture refers to the chairs and tables that you might see outside on a patio. 

Patio furniture sounds a lot like Paddy O’Furniture.  Paddy is an Irish name, often a nickname for someone named Patrick or Padraig.  There are a lot of famous Paddys.  The O’ (capital letter O with an apostrophe), along with Mc or Mac, means “son of” in Irish last names.  Lots of Irish last names start with O’ such as O’Brien and O’Keefe. 

There is no Irish last name of O’Furniture, and that’s what makes this joke funny.  Maybe where you are you can celebrate St. Patrick’s Day by sitting outside on your patio furniture and listening to The Chieftains and Sinead O’Connor.

 

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