Q: Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle?
A: Because if you add 4 + 4 you get ate!
Explanation: So, school starts tomorrow in St. Paul, MN so this bad joke is for my SPPS friends.
Yes, it is true that 4+4 = 8; but 8 sounds the same as “ate” (which should be eaten as in “you would be eaten”) and that is what makes this joke funny! Have a great start to the new school year!!
“As a jockey I work with horses, but at least it’s a stable job!”
This line is from Charles Lamb and it plays on the double meaning of the word stable: 1) a building where horses are kept; 2) not likely to change.
The job of a jockey is stable because he is not going to lose his job and there is always work to do. Jockey’s work in stables.
Have a great Labor Day if you are in the U.S. or if you need a reason to celebrate!
Q: What has 4 wheels and flies?
A: A garbage truck!
Explanation: When you hear “4 wheels and flies” you expect that the word “flies” means something that flies in the air like an airplane or perhaps Superman. You do not expect that “flies” means the insect, fly (or rather the plural of fly: flies).
It’s true: a garbage truck has 4 wheels and lots of flies because flies like garbage.
And just for fun, here is a flying garbage truck:
Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed?
A: To draw the curtains!
Explanation: At night, many people close the curtains (shut the curtains, draw the curtains) to keep the light out. “Draw the curtains” is another way to say, “Close the curtains” or shut the curtains.”
One of the uses of a pencil is to draw, that is, create pictures using a pencil and paper.
This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of the word draw. Here is a video of how to draw a pencil:
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones!
Explanation: A cell phone is a celular phone, a mobil phone. They are the ones that are replacing land lines as we stay connected 24/7. Did you know that there are more than 6 billion cell phones in use?
Prisoners are kept in jail cells or prison cells.
This joke is funny because it uses the word “cell” in two different ways. Here is another way telephones are used:
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and quackers!
Explanation: Bad joke, my apologies… but it made me giggle.
A cow gives milk and ducks quack– but you already knew that. So, a duck that quacks could be called a quacker in the same way that a person who robs is a robber and a person who thinks is a thinker.
“Quackers” sounds like “crackers” which go well with milk! Enjoy some crackers and milk.
And here is a duck that milks a cow (and sings Old MacDonald):
Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them!
Explanation: Bugs– those bothersome little insects. If something “bugs you” that means that something irks you, bothers you, pesters you, annoys you, is bothersome to you, …
Frogs eat bugs, that is, insects. Therefore, frogs eat the bugs that bug them which, in turn, makes them happy. (My grandpa was happy when eating frogs – frog legs.)
A silly joke that plays with the word “bug.”
Winnie The Pooh would often say, “O bother” when bugged by something:
Q: What did one pencil say to the other pencil?
A: You’re looking sharp!
Explanation: When the writing end of a pencil is pointed, we say that the pencil is sharp (the non-writing end is the eraser).
When someone is wearing nice clothes we say that the person is looking sharp; it is a phrase used most often to describe men. “Looking sharp” can also be used for someone doing something well as in this news article about a soccer player.
This joke is funny because it plays with the double meaning of “looking sharp.”
Here is Joe Jackson singing about looking sharp:
And Gillette with Look Sharp, Be Sharp:
Explain the Joke 
