Tall Tales?

Posted on August 27, 2015 by stfleming

Q: What is the tallest building in the world?
A: A library- it has the most stories!

Explanation:  The word story has more than one meaning: the floors of a building, a 5 story building for example, or an account of events that happened to real or imaginary people.

Libraries are filled with stories about people and animals and things and … so libraries are the buildings with the most stories and therefore, the tallest.

Here is a link to the tallest buildings but not necessarily the most stories- that would be a library!

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Cross a Cow?

Posted on August 26, 2015 by stfleming

Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a duck?
A: Milk and quackers!

Explanation:  Bad joke, my apologies… but it made me giggle.

A cow gives milk and ducks quack– but you already knew that.  So, a duck that quacks could be called a quacker in the same way that a person who robs is a robber and a person who thinks is a thinker.

“Quackers” sounds like “crackers” which go well with milk!  Enjoy some crackers and milk.

And here is a duck that milks a cow (and sings Old MacDonald):

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O Bother!

Posted on August 25, 2015 by stfleming

Q: Why are frogs so happy?
A: They eat whatever bugs them!

Explanation:  Bugs– those bothersome little insects.  If something “bugs you” that means that something irks you, bothers you, pesters you, annoys you, is bothersome to you, …

Frogs eat bugs, that is, insects.  Therefore, frogs eat the bugs that bug them which, in turn, makes them happy.  (My grandpa was happy when eating frogs – frog legs.)

A silly joke that plays with the word “bug.”

Winnie The Pooh would often say, “O bother” when bugged by something:

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Looking Good!

Posted on August 24, 2015 by stfleming

Q: What did one pencil say to the other pencil?
A: You’re looking sharp!

Explanation:  When the writing end of a pencil is pointed, we say that the pencil is sharp (the non-writing end is the eraser).

When someone is wearing nice clothes we say that the person is looking sharp; it is a phrase used most often to describe men.  “Looking sharp” can also be used for someone doing something well as in this news article about a soccer player.

This joke is funny because it plays with the double meaning of “looking sharp.”

Here is Joe Jackson singing about looking sharp:

And Gillette with Look Sharp, Be Sharp:

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To Jail!

Posted on August 21, 2015 by stfleming

Q: Why did the picture end up in jail?
A: It was framed!

Explanation:  Pictures are often put into frames, the wood or metal box that goes around the picture with glass or plastic, to keep the picture safe.

“To be framed” means to be blamed for doing something that you did not do.  It could be a crime and you are framed when the evidence points to you and you did not do the crime. A person who is framed can end up in jail for a crime he or she did not commit.

The premise of The A Team was a group that was framed for a crime they did not commit:

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Hang On

Posted on August 20, 2015 by stfleming

Q: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
A: She will Let It Go!

Explanation:  Did you see the movie Frozen?  Elsa is the main character.  Her big song is “Let It Go.”

If you let go of a balloon it will float into the air and then you don’t have the balloon.  So, don’t give Elsa a balloon or she will let it go!

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Hay, there!

Posted on August 19, 2015 by stfleming

Q: What did the farmer say when his hay started blowing away?
A: Hay, come back!

Explanation:  Hay is grass that has been cut, dried, and stored for use as animal food, especially for cattle, horses, goats, and sheep.

“Hey” is a word used to get someone’s attention such as when someone says, “Hey, you guys!” or “Hey there!”

This joke is funny because it uses “hay” instead of “hey” when calling the hay to come back.  “Hey” is also used in the Beatle’s song “Hey Jude.

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New Shirt!

Posted on August 18, 2015 by stfleming

Q: What’s the best place to shop for a soccer shirt?
A: New Jersey!

Explanation: Quite simply, the shirt that soccer players wear is called a jersey.  New Jersey is one of the 50 United States.  If you want to buy a new shirt, you want to buy a new jersey. Where else?  In New Jersey!

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Braniac 2!

Posted on August 17, 2015 by stfleming

Q: Why do soccer players do so well in math?
A: They know how to use their heads!

Explanation: To ”use your head” means to think.  People who do well in math use their heads when they think and solve math problems.

Soccer players also use their heads when they “head” the ball.  Yes, in English, the word “head” can also be used as a verb.

This joke is funny because it plays on the double meaning of “use your head.”

Happy birthday, friend!!

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Sea Sick?

Posted on August 15, 2015 by stfleming

Q: Where do sick boats go to get healthy?
A: To the dock!

Explanation:  A dock is a walk-way that extends from the land into the water.  Boats can be tied to the dock so they do not float away.

Doc (sounds like dock) is a word used for doctor, medical doctor.

This joke plays on the word dock/doc because boats go to the dock but they can’t go to the doc.

“Doc” is also used in a phrase by Bugs Bunny: “What’s up doc?”

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