Scaredy Cow!

Posted on September 4, 2013 by stfleming

Q:  What do you call a scared cow?Cow Scared
A:  A milk shake!

Explanation:  When people get scared, frightened, they sometimes shake because of the fear they feel.  A milkshake is a drink that mixes (or shakes) together ice cream and milk (sometimes with fruit or chocolate or …).  So, if you shake a cow (which would be really hard to do!) you could get a milk-shake.  Or if the cow gets scared it could shake itself and the milk that is inside it thereby making a milkshake.  Crazy!  It could never happen!  That’s why it’s funny!

 

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Parrot-teacher

Posted on August 30, 2013 by stfleming

Q: When does a teacher carry birdseed?Parrot teacher

A: When there is a parrot-teacher conference!

Explanation: Parrots like birdseed; they eat it!  Teachers have conferences with parents called parent teacher conferences; it is a time to talk to the parents about how their children are doing in school.  “Parrot-teacher” sounds like “parent-teacher” and that is what makes his joke funny!

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I see the sea, or c

Posted on August 28, 2013 by stfleming

Q: What letter is wet?The sea I see, c
A: The letter C !

Explanation:  You see, the letter “c” sounds just like the word “sea” which is another word for the ocean.  So, the “C” is wet.  See!

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Baseball Web

Posted on April 20, 2013 by stfleming

Q: Why would a spider be a good baseball player? baseball spider
A: Because it is good at catching flies!

Explanation:  Spiders catch flies in their webs; flies (fly- singular) are small insects with wings.  When spiders build spiderwebs the flies get stuck in them and the spiders eat them.  When a baseball player hits a baseball and it goes up in the air to the outfield we say, “the baseball player has hit a fly ball,”  that is, the player hit the ball and it flew through the air.  The outfielders, the players standing far away from the batter, are waiting to catch the fly balls that have been hit.  An outfielder who is good at this is good at catching flies… just like a spider.

Thanks “Tree” for the joke!

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Bowl me over!

Posted on April 19, 2013 by stfleming

Q: Where do football players go before the big game? toilet bowl trophy
A: To the Toilet Bowl!

Explanation: If someone says, “I gotta go!” that person means, “I have to go to the bathroom.”  Imagine someone saying that while squeezing their legs together.  Football championship games are called bowl games, think The Super Bowl, The Rose Bowl, … The part of a toilet where one leaves waste is the toilet bowl, the part you see filled with water.  This joke is funny because it combines the ideas of going to the bathroom with a bowl game.  11 year olds might love this joke!

 

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Elfabet

Posted on April 18, 2013 by stfleming

Q: What do elves learn in school? alphabet
A: The elf-abet!

Explanation:  One elf (singular), two elves (plural).  Elves are mythological beings found in stories like The Hobbit or found at the north pole working for Santa Claus.  The alphabet is learned by school children in all English speaking schools (and other languages too!). “Elf” sounds like “alf” or “alph,” the first part of the word alphabet.  This joke is funny because it plays on the sounds in elf and alph.

Thanks “Tree” for sending the joke.

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Wet Melon!

Posted on April 16, 2013 by stfleming

Q: What do you call a wet fruit? Watermelon
A: A watermelon!

Explanation:  “Wet” is something that is liquid or has liquid on or in it.  For example, a towel gets wet when you use it to soak up water; the street gets wet when it rains.  Water is wet because it is a liquid.  A watermelon isn’t really wet on the outside (unless it has been rained on or washed) but it does have lots of liquid on the inside. So a wet fruit, is a watermelon.  Mmmm!

Soon it will be summer here in the north and the watermelon will start growing again.  I can’t wait!

Thanks “Tree” for sending the joke.

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Happy Birthday!

Posted on April 15, 2013 by stfleming

Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?Cake

A: Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!

Explanation: Well, this is funny because the listener is expecting a real explanation that has to do with adding candles to a cake, perhaps even explaining why we have cake for birthdays.  But that is not the answer that the listener hears.  The answer is just an obviously funny one!  Candles on the bottom of a cake!

Happy Birthday, Ana Maria!

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Shake Well

Posted on April 12, 2013 by stfleming

Q: Why did John jump up and down before drinking his juice? juice box
A: The box said, “Shake well before drinking!”

Explanation:  Johnny was sooooooo confused!  When the box says, “Shake well before drinking” it is talking about the box, not the boy who is drinking the juice!  Shake the box, Johnny!

Shake, shake hands, milkshake, shake your head, shake and bake, shake, rattle and roll, …

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Roll, Not Bounce

Posted on April 11, 2013 by stfleming

Q: What kind of balls don’t bounce? bounce ball
A: Eye balls!

Explanation:  Bounce is the way a ball goes up and down when thrown to the floor.  Tennis balls bounce.  Basketballs bounce.  Eyeballs… don’t bounce.  It would hurt too much if they did!

My break is over… more jokes to come.

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