Sign Language?

Posted on February 26, 2013 by stfleming

Q: What language does a billboard speak?billboard
A: Sign language!

Explanation: A billboard is one of those really big advertisements found along roads and on top of buildings; a billboard is a type of sign.  This joke plays on the word “sign” which can mean a public, printed announcement that is usually large (like a street sign, a stop sign, a road sign, the name of a store on its facade, …) or it can be the first part of “sign language.”  Sign language is a language used by hearing impaired people to communicate.  So a billboard (a sign) speaks sign language because it is a sign!

As you work on learning English or learning jokes take some time to learn sign language!

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Title-wave!

Posted on February 22, 2013 by stfleming

Q: What would we get if we threw all the books in the ocean?Tidalwave
A: A title wave!

Explanation: A tidal wave is produced by the daily tides, which are caused by the gravitational pull of the moon and sun (officially, it is not a tsunami).  Books have titles.  The words “title wave” sound very much like “tidal wave.”  Read all about it!

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Bull Doze?

Posted on February 21, 2013 by stfleming

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?bullsdozing
A: A bull-dozer.

Explanation:  “To doze” is to sleep, but just for a little bit of time.  A bulldozer is a machine that moves dirt.  So, a sleeping bull is a bull that dozes or a bull-dozer which sounds like bulldozer!

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Hot Dog!

Posted on February 20, 2013 by stfleming

Q: How do you make a hot dog stand?HotDogStand
A:  Take away its chair!

Explanation:  You know what a hot dog is, right?  A “hot dog stand” is a small place that sells hot dogs (see picture).  This joke plays on the word stand which is also the opposite of sit.  If you take away someone’s chair that person has to stand… just like the hot dog in this joke!

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Blind fish?

Posted on February 13, 2013 by stfleming

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye?Fish
A:  Fsh!

Explanation:  When you hear this joke you are thinking about a fish with no eye, perhaps a blind fish.  What makes this joke funny is that the answer is the sound “fsh” because there is no longer an “i” in the word fish.  Ha!!

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Peanut Butter and Traffic Jam!

Posted on February 12, 2013 by stfleming

Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road?traffic jam with peanut butter and jelly
A: To go with the traffic jam!

Explanation:  Peanut butter and jelly is a common type of sandwich in the United States.  Jam and jelly are synonyms (they are not identical but very much the same).  A traffic jam is when there are so many cars in one place that the cars are stopped (or moving very slowly).  This joke plays with the word jam- the kind that goes with peanut butter and the kind that stops traffic.  Ha ha ha!

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Nachos!

Posted on February 11, 2013 by stfleming

Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?Nacho
A: Nacho cheese!

Explanation:  Nacho cheese is a form of processed cheese sauce mixed with peppers and other spices.  It is used to make Nachos, a snack made with tortilla chips and there are many ways to make them.  When you say “Nacho” it sounds like “not your.”  So, if it’s “Nacho cheese,” that sounds like “not your cheese;” cheese which isn’t yours!  Try some nachos; they’re great!

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Arm-ees?

Posted on February 8, 2013 by stfleming

Q: Where do generals keep their armies?ArminSleeve
A: In their sleevies!

Explanation: A general is the leader of an army (singular), so, generals are the leaders of armies (plural).  When you put on a shirt your arm goes into the sleeve of the shirt.  Often times in English, to make something small you put the “ee” sound on the end- cute becomes cutie, bird become birdie.  In this joke arm becomes arm-ee so it goes into your sleeve-ee.

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Invisible Man

Posted on February 7, 2013 by stfleming

Q: Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer?InvisMan
A: He just couldn’t see himself doing it!

Explanation: The invisible man is a book by H. G. Wells and also a movie.  If you are invisible no one can see you.  This joke plays on the phrase, “I can’t see myself doing…” which means you can’t imagine doing something, such as taking a job.  What is something you can’t see yourself doing?

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Virus!

Posted on February 6, 2013 by stfleming

Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing?
compsneezA: It had a virus!

Explanation: When someone is sick that person may sneeze.  A virus is a really small thing, smaller than a cell in your body, that can make you sick.  So, a virus can make you sneeze.  A virus is also the name of a computer program that does something bad to your computer (or uses your computer in a way that you do not want it to).  This joke is funny because it uses the word “virus” in two different ways.  Wash your hands!

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