Funlessness

Q: What do you call a pig that is no fun to be around?
A: A boar!

Explanation:  A boring pig, that is.  There are several names for swine in English including pig, hog and boar.  And then when we eat pig it can be called bacon, ham, pork chop, …  Who knew the pig produced so much vocabulary?!?!

If you are a bore, you are no fun to be around, not interesting.  This joke plays on the word bore/boar which sound the same.  The word bore can also mean to make a hole.  I hope I am not boring you (being not interesting)!

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Ruff Stuff

Q: What did the dog say when he rubbed sandpaper on his tail?
A: Rough, rough!

Explanation:  Another wonderful, classic dog joke!  Sandpaper is rough, it is used to make things smooth.  In English, when a dog barks it says, “Ruff.”  This joke is funny because it plays with two words that sound the same, ruff and rough.

Rough, by the way, can also mean difficult:  I had a rough day.

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Pasta Party!

Q: Where did the spaghetti and the sauce go to dance?
A: The meatball!

Explanation:  I love spaghetti!  Grandma used to make the best spaghetti and meatballs.  A meat ball is a ball of meat, often found on top of spaghetti.  A “ball” can also be a dance (see the Cinderella joke).  This joke plays with the word ball/meatball and is kind of, sort of funny.  Thanks Daniel!

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Lemonade, anyone?

Q: Where did the baseball keep its lemonade?
A: In the pitcher!

Explanation:  It is the end of summer, the end days of baseball and lemonade.  School starts tomorrow (and as a teacher I love that!).

The word pitcher has two meanings: a pitcher is a container used to serve drinks; a pitcher is the person on the baseball team who throws the ball toward the bater at home plate (isn’t Mo’ne Davis amazing!).  This joke is funny because it plays on the double meaning of the word pitcher.

Thank you, Daniel, for the joke!!

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Stadium Lights

Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match!

Explanation:  I love soccer so, another soccer joke (I could have said football or fútbol).

A “soccer match” is a soccer game.  A match is a contest between two teams.  A match is also a small stick that is used to start a fire.  (And this reminds me of the story To Build a Fire by Jack London, and The Little Match Girl by Hans Christian Anderson.  Good stories!)

This joke is funny because of the double meaning of the word “match.”

Happy birthday to Ángel!

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Pig Ball

Q: Why are pigs so bad at soccer?
A: They are always hogging the ball!

Explanation:  To “hog the ball” means to keep the ball to yourself and not pass the ball.  A good soccer player looks to his or her teammates to see who has the best chance to advance the ball toward the goal; a good soccer player does not hog the ball.

This joke is funny because another word for a pig is a hog

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Before Dinner

Q: What did the mother lion say to her cubs before dinner?
A: Shall we prey!

Explanation:  Many people pray before dinner; they say words of thanks to their god, spirit or higher being.  Prey (with an ‘e’ not an ‘a’) is the animal that is being hunted by another animal.

This joke plays on the words pray/ prey with the lions “preying” before eating not praying.  Here is a lion that appears to be praying.  By the way, prey in regular usage is not used as a verb by itself but as a phrasal verb “prey on” or as a noun.  But that is why I like jokes: anything is possible!

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Fish Song

Q: How are fish and music the same?
A: They both have scales!

Explanation:  Fish scales are the outer part, the skin, of a fish.  Musical scales are a series of notes that go up or down (there are many types of musical scales).  This joke plays on the double meaning of the word “scale.”

There is a third meaning- a scale that weighs something like a bathroom scale.

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Tipsy

Q: Why do flamingos stand on one leg?
A: If they lifted the other leg they would fall over!

Explanation:  Not what you expected?  Of course not!  That’s why this joke is funny.

Upon asking the question one expects an answer, an explanation.  In this case one expects an answer that tells why flamingos stand on one leg.  This joke is funny because it focuses on the other leg… and that is unexpected.

¡Saludos a Cesar!

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The Future at Hand

Q: Why was the tree excited about the future?
A: It was ready to turn over a new leaf!

Explanation:  “To turn over a new leaf” means to start anew, to start again, fresh.  Someone who has had problems might turn over a new leaf and begin again (study more, learn something new, stop a bad habit, start a new good habit such as exercising, …).

A tree has many leaves (one leaf, two leaves).  Do the leaves turn over?  Not really but maybe before a storm.

This joke plays with the word leaf and makes me think about the future.  What are your plans?  Do you need to turn over a new leaf?

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