Bonsai?

Posted on May 2, 2020 by stfleming

Q: What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A: A palm tree!

beach coconut trees coconuts daylight

persons left hand on windowExplanation: The palm of your hand is the part that faces things you grab.  It is easier to see in the picture.  The palm of your hand is rather small and, ordinarily, would not hold a tree.

A palm tree is a tree that is found in tropical climates like the one in the picture.

This joke is funny because it plays with the two meanings of the word palm: part of your hand and a type of tree.

Speaking of palms, do you know how to do any magic tricks with your palm?

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Uncomfortably Close

Posted on April 25, 2020 by stfleming

Q: What do you call a grilled cheese sandwich that gets right up in your face?
A: Too close for comfort food!

Explanation: Comfort food is food that makes you feel good, perhaps by reminding you of a special time, place, or person.  Comfort food is usually high in calories like macaroni and cheese, or lasagna.

“Too close for comfort” is an idiom that can mean that someone or something is really too close to you, very near to you like the car that almost hit you, or the dog barking at your feet.  It can also be more figurative, such as when someone says, “That conversation about coronavirus is a little too close to home.”  In that example, someone who is worried about the virus might not want to have to talk about it; the topic is too close to home.

This joke is funny because it combines “too close for comfort” with “comfort food.”

Here is how to make one of my favorite comfort foods (thanks mom and grandma), grilled cheese sandwich-

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Paper Cut

Posted on April 18, 2020 by stfleming

Q: What did the Daddy Scissors say to his children when they acted up?
A: Cut it out!

Explanation: Of course, the scissors would say, “Cut it out!”

“To act up” means to behave badly, like students who sometimes act up at school and get in trouble with their teacher or the principal.

“Cut it out” has two meanings: First, is the literal meaning that you can cut something out, like cutting a coupon out of the newspaper; second is the idiom where “cut it out” means to stop doing something.  If someone tells you to “cut it out,” that person wants you to stop doing whatever you are doing.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of “cut it out.”  Check out these two art projects you can do with paper and scissors. (The first one we can all do; the second one takes more skill!)

 

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Egg-cellent Spin

Posted on April 11, 2020 by stfleming

Q: How do you make a Chinese egg roll?
A: Just give it a little push!

Explanation: Many families will be celebrating Easter this weekend, so an egg joke seemed appropriate.

A Chinese egg roll is a type of food served at many Chinese restaurants (and they are really good).  In the name of this food, ‘roll’ is a thing (a noun); the words before ‘roll’ tell what type of roll (adjectives): an egg roll, a Chinese egg roll.

Roll is also a verb that describes what a wheel does as it turns (it rolls) or what a rock does as it goes down a hill (it rolls).  If you push an egg, it will roll.  This will happen to an egg from anywhere such as China or France or Peru.

This joke is funny because it creates an expectation for one type of answer, but it gives a different answer.  When you hear the question, how do you make a Chinese egg roll, you expect the answer to include instructions, perhaps a recipe, about one of my favorite foods–egg rolls.  What you get is a funny answer because, of course, if you push an egg, it will roll.

Here is an egg rolling contest from Iowa:

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Is it legal?

Posted on April 4, 2020 by stfleming

Q: Can you keep a sick, bald bird in your house?
A: No, that’s ill-eagle!

Explanation: Many of us are staying home so that the world can flatten the coronavirus curve.  With that in mind, I offer you an eagle joke and a live eagle cam so you can virtually leave the house.

The eagles in the live-cam video below are called bald eagles because the adults have white feathers on their heads.  From far away it appears that they are bald.  People who are bald have no hair on their heads.  Bald eagles are the only well known birds that have the word ‘bald’ in their name (maybe the only one).

Ill means the same thing as sick.  So, a sick, bald bird is a sick eagle, or an ill eagle.  Illegal means not legal, something that is against the law.

This joke is funny because ill eagle sounds like illegal. And it is illegal to have an ill eagle.

Here are some healthy, live bald eagles from the Minnesota Eagle Cam:

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Stay Warm

Posted on March 28, 2020 by stfleming

Q: How do you stay warm in any unheated room?
A: Just sit in the corner where it is always 90º!

Explanation: To understand this joke, you need to think about the temperature.  90º Fahrenheit is a hot temperature. Well, for me it is hot; maybe not for people living in places like Australia, India, the Middle East and Phoenix that experience hotter temperatures.

Fahrenheit is a scale that measures temperature.  Most of the world uses Celsius, not Fahrenheit, to measure temperatures (but this joke only works with Fahrenheit because 90º Fahrenheit equals about 32º Celsius).

90º is also the measure of a right angle, an angle that is found in a corner.  This joke is funny because it plays with the two meanings of 90º (read ninety degrees)–a warm temperature and the measure of a corner.

Learn how to draw a 90º angle without a protractor-

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That’s Blarney!

Posted on March 14, 2020 by stfleming

Q: What do you call a fake Irish stone?
A: A shamrock!

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Explanation: March 17th is St. Patrick’s Day, in honor of the patron saint of Ireland.

A shamrock is a bit of clover, typically with three leaves as you see in the picture.  It is sometimes used as symbol of Ireland.  People say that St. Patrick, a Catholic missionary priest, used it to teach about the Christian Holy Trinity.

If something is a sham, it is fake, not what it is supposed to be.  In the case of this joke, a sham-rock would be a rock (rock and stone are synonyms) that is not really a rock.

This joke is funny because it plays with the word sham and the word shamrock.

The music and dancing below is not a sham, it is Riverdance:

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Slip Sliding Away

Posted on March 7, 2020 by stfleming

Q: Why did the banana put on sunscreen?
A: He didn’t want to peel!

Explanation: The outside of a banana, the yellow part that you do not eat, is called the peel.  (The outside of an lemon is called a rind and the outside of an apple is called the skin.)  Peel is also the verb when you take off the outside of the banana, orange or apple: I peel the orange before I eat it.

When you get a sunburn, sometimes your skin will peel, that is, the top layer of skill will come off because your sun-damaged skin is healing itself.  If you do not want to get a sunburn and if you do not want your skin to peel, it is a very good idea to use sunscreen lotion to protect your skin.

This joke is funny because it plays with two meanings of the word peel: the outside of a banana, and what happens to your skin after a sunburn.  (Banana peels can also be slippery so I thought of the title from Simon and Garfunkel.)

Did you know? There are…

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Hitchhiker’s Guide to Leap Day

Posted on February 29, 2020 by stfleming

Q: What do you tell a hitchhiker on leap day?
A: Hop in!

Explanation: Happy leap day, leap year day, February 29!  It’s not every year I can explain a joke on February 29!!  (Leap year happens once every four years.)

To begin with, a hitchhiker is a person who waits by the side of a road or highway looking for someone to drive him/her down the road.  Often hitchhikers will use their right thumb to show that they want a ride.  Hitchhiking is sometimes called “thumbing a ride” and it is very dangerous to do.  It is also dangerous to pick up hitchhikers if you are driving.  Please don’t hitchhike or pick up hitchhikers.

“Hop in” is a common idiom that means you can get in the car.  Leap and hop are synonyms.

This joke is funny because telling someone to hop on leap day is funny

Here is a song about hitchhiking by Vanity Fare (lyrics):

The title for this post alludes to the book series Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

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Wild and Free

Posted on February 22, 2020 by stfleming

Q: What did the tiger say to her cubs before they went out to play?
A: Be careful–it’s a jungle out there!

Explanation: A jungle is a forest in tropical areas.  In a jungle there are many trees and plants that no one takes care of because they grow on their own.  There are many wild animals and birds in the jungle; there are lots of insects, too.  A jungle can be a dangerous place for someone who is not familiar with it.

In English, “it’s a jungle out there” is an idiom that means that a place or a situation is dangerous or threatening.

This joke is funny because the tiger in the joke is actually in a jungle.  No need to use that idiom in the jungle.

Check out this tiger cub in the jungle:

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